Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
Ninjaface 0
At least she didn't go into detail. You'd never be able to show your face again if all of the preschoolers knew what you did with barbed wire and a rubber chicken.
TheMischiefMaker 0
YDI. she obviously learns that stuff somewhere. i bet youre the type of parents that let her watch whatever she wants as well, and will wonder what went wrong when she's one of the slutty girls at school. smh
terriibabiiix23 0
lmfao, this just made my day ! you have a very funny daughter (:
theeBeezWaXx 0
haha DAMN
DTbasketball 0
The kid didn't deserve to be suspended.
trickatreat 0
Oh, ****. ;P
Clown1 0
That kid need an award!
chelseajade 0
HAHAHAAHAHAHA WOW
lifeisgood8 0
that is absolutely hilarious!! and ironic....considering what they're teaching her is not to be honest. But then again that punishment will hopefully teach her to use a screening process, that lets her pick up on social etiquecy. On that note i generally like people who tell it like it is anyway!! hahhaha i love this fml
lifeisgood8 0
I really don't think their is anything wrong with swearing anyway, not that I do it often, or was raised to. It's just a wordd...to incorporate emphasis, or express shock/anger etc. what makes it so different then any other word that is used for that purpose? Society iss crazzzyyy..I can understand how calling anyone a bitch can be offensive since it means female dog...but if I called someone a female dog instead would that be any different/ sound better.....