By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 313
You deserved it 3 440

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That's...incredibly bitchy

It's peanut butter-jelly time!!!


That's...incredibly bitchy

How did you find out thats why she eats them? Did she directly say it to you, or are you just making an assumption?

4- you're saying that like OP will actually respond to you...

8- OP can respond if they have an FML account. I've seen it happen before. Idiot.

Sounds like a completely healthy marriage.

Actually OP can choose to respond if he was so inclined.

Op might actually not have an account.

Ops name on the fml pertains to the fml not an actual username so I doubt he has an account.

Maybe OP's wife just really likes... PEANUT BUTTER, JELLY TIME!


36 beat me to it :(

It's sad, but clearly she's turned off by your kisses. Find out why & improve. Maybe you have bad breath. Quit bitchin and fix it.

I wonder to what lengths she might go to avoid sleeping with you.

What other reason would there be to eat pb&j's :) ?

She sounds nuts.

I'm allergic too

Kiss her everywhere else! Or talk to her about it. Before she starts kissing a marriage councilor.

#20....did you really just say that? If op doesn't have an account, how the hell was op able to make a post? duh

Only slightly bitchy....

He's German, right? He said what a bitch

Hate to break it to you, "vut" is not German for what. "Was" is.

Hate to break it to you, they were probably phonetically spelling how someone with a German accent would pronounce "what".

Thumbs up if you read that comment in a German accent.

In all honesty my comment was more of a smartass joke, so don't take it seriously, 98. And so you know, I've talked to many german people who will say what, not vut. But I guess your explanation makes sense too.

Vut is actually Dutch for early retirement. I used google translate.

I'v always thought of the "V" from "W" as a Russian accent stereotype. Ver is d? vodka. V?t is that?

Looks like it's time for a new toooothpaaaaste.(:

He must be one ugly sumbitch

Take her out to eat pufferfish. It literally slightly poisons you and makes you feel light headed. Give her a taste of her own medicine. :)

Please don't eat me.

Perfect. Asshole boss? Poison them. That sounds like a logical thing to do.

Actually, if fugu is correctly prepared there is not enough toxin remaining in the flesh of the puffer to do any damage.

138 - I think you replied to the wrong FML. This one has nothing to do with bosses...

So is this why you have a restraining order from every one of your ex's?

U have no idea what you're missing.

Seems to me he's missing kissing his wife and death by anaphylaxis.

It seems to me that 6 is implying peanut butter is tasty.

Anaphylaxis is a life-threatening allergic reaction which would occur when op eats peanut butter

38- Did someone ask or do you always give random definitions?

41 did someone ask you to read my comment or are you always that bitchy?

Of course I was implying the peanut butter part, I guess not being too specific is frowned upon.

Who doesn't like Peanut Butter?? (Only exception are people allergic to any or all nut(s).)

59 agreed. mild vagueness and/or blunt sarcasm is considered trolling, instant down vote.

It's peanut butter-jelly time!!!

it can be peanut butter jelly time for OP. but then tomorrow his new FML will be, "Today, i died. FML"

81- What life? He's dead

that was my attempt at humor :P

You tried too hard ;)

You should torture her by making her listen to Lil Wayne.

Or the beiber beaver

Or Rebecca Black.

Two words: wax lips.

Two words: sentence fragment [Hypocritical Grammar Nazi]

Two words: Horatio Cain

You know that did work for Robin when he went to kiss Poison Ivy... I'm not a Batman fangirl I swear!

Four Words-CSI:Miami rules!

How is that four words...? Here's a better one. Four words - No it does not.

Three letters: Wtf.

One word: Boobs =)

dumbass that's 3

Wow. That's actually really bitchy, she knows how allergic you are, she shouldn't do that. Not even if she doesn't want to.

Some people are just bitches. Sorry OP.