Work: Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 2 119

Work

Own it

Stay safe, despite capitalism

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Anonymous - 27/07/2019 00:01

Today, due to recent changes in my local transit system, the bus that I take to work and back is a unidirectional loop instead of bi-directional. So my morning commute is the same, but the commute back is now an hour-and-half instead of 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 23/12/2012 17:52 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 938

You deserved it 13 514

It's a holly jolly Christmas…

By Victor - 24/12/2020 14:02

Today, I usually take my daughter to daycare; my wife had to drop her daughter off at 8. The kid refused to get up, making them late. Wife argues with me, claiming I made her late. She said hurtful things and left late at 8:30. We haven't spoken and probably won't for the rest of Christmas week. I love Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 117

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 427

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 139

You deserved it 4 714

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 20:56 - United States

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 919

You deserved it 28 535

By DAMMit - 27/07/2009 08:12 - Australia

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 470

You deserved it 8 458

Cum hoc ergo propter hoc

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I fell down my stairs twice after helping a senior get in her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 01/02/2015 10:21 - United States

Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 973

You deserved it 2 680

By brokenkneechick - 07/02/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 2 211

By Mike - 17/12/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 087

You deserved it 54 566

By llozano715 - 13/09/2010 05:41 - France

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 119

You deserved it 4 796

By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 094

You deserved it 5 625

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 902

You deserved it 5 335

By stonesober - 31/12/2009 01:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 675

You deserved it 3 552

By staringisrude - 27/08/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 267

You deserved it 64 561

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 1 999

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 15:46

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 573

You deserved it 3 097

By Samantha - 29/03/2009 03:14 - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 058

You deserved it 21 793

By creepedoutlady - 16/08/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 488

You deserved it 3 934

This is America

By ChiefKoala - 20/10/2019 22:00

Today, it will be the third time since moving to this area that I will have to call out of work because of gunshots heard nearby, police looking for someone and advising us to stay indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 209

By nice one - 14/07/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 730

You deserved it 2 737

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 281

You deserved it 9 828

By bluewatersify - 18/01/2010 14:23 - Australia

Today, I got a letter in the mail, my mother has applied for a reduction in her child support payments for my brother and I. She's paid $10 child support in 16 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 2 212

By hermit's life - 25/12/2016 07:11 - United States - Sellersburg

Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 305

You deserved it 1 341

By Henry - 11/11/2011 22:29 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 45 654

By embarassedmuch - 30/10/2012 04:05 - United States

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 698

You deserved it 27 626

By HDCkid - 05/04/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 549

You deserved it 62 839

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 561

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 977

You deserved it 3 723

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 04:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 583

You deserved it 3 585

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 164

You deserved it 4 779

By TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks - 11/09/2012 03:13 - United States - Seattle

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 528

You deserved it 7 221

Gotcha!

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 03:57 - United States - State College

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 046

You deserved it 22 739

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 14:51 - Ireland

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 136

You deserved it 47 971

By man2 - 23/09/2010 11:18 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 008

You deserved it 4 033

What's up, doc?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 17:02 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 215

What did I do?

By mislabeled - 27/08/2020 20:05

Today, two friends of almost ten years told my husband they had concerns about our marriage, and basically said they can no longer be friends with me. My husband and I never fight, and have other people tell us they are jealous of our relationship. The worst part is they still want to be friends with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 165

By Alaska fire - 19/11/2016 22:14 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 1 084

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

pugpuggy 21

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:06

Well what in the name of fuck did she expect?

Wizardo 33

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:06

The shock I get by reading this level of stupidity. Anaphylactic I tell you.

pugpuggy 21

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:06

Well what in the name of fuck did she expect?

Pleonasm 35

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:43

Hopefully they can settle it out of court for peanuts.

doctorhook86 24

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:53

#19: If this happened in Canada, she'd have to pay the costs of the court (plus for the defendant's lawyer) for wasting everybody's time.

Ritokage 3

Send a private message

Saturday 6 June 2015 5:42

Isn't it the same in the states too? You lose you pay. At least that's the way over here in Sweden which I guess is wy we don't have all those stupid lawsuit that seems to be running wild in US.

at0micmin3r 23

Send a private message

Monday 15 June 2015 10:10

This made me laugh so hard. Thank you.

Wizardo 33

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:06

The shock I get by reading this level of stupidity. Anaphylactic I tell you.

sturschaedel 27

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:49

Maybe analphabetic too?

Pleonasm 35

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:50

Yea, maybe she thought they were Penis Butt Pancakes? Makes sense then.

TheIronFez 13

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 19:20

Do you mean anaphylactic?

mds9986 24

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 19:24

Well hopefully the customer ate the pancakes and died soon after so they can't reproduce.

prostar9993 15

Send a private message

Saturday 6 June 2015 3:32

Work in a restaurant for a week, this won't surprise you ever again. I see this level of stupidity on a daily basis. One of my favourites was "what's the difference between the grilled shrimp and the fried shrimp."........ People should have to pass an iq test before reproducing.

tintarroja 31

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:08

Bullshit! If she were allergic, instead of complaining, she would be in the hospital.

keiNan_fml 35

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:20

she shouldn't be using anything that says peanut.

Calingaladha 21

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 14:47

Depends on the severity of the allergy, I think. But yeah, this is bullshit.

pdp_fml 21

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:09

Does anyone see the irony of the situation?

sdroze1389 31

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:16

oh it's palpable

ohSNAPyall 26

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 16:35

I see idiocy but not irony.

joeblow6969 5

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 23:57

No irony here, just a moron.

Woedel 25

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:10

Good luck for her on that one

igg125 30

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:14

She likes to live dangerously.

Wsparta 26

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:14

where the Duck can you get peanut butter pancakes that don't contain peanut butter? dumbass

sdroze1389 31

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:15

with luck, Darwinism will avenge you soon.

MissEmma_fml 22

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:19

"Well, we call them peanut butter pancakes but they're actually blueberry." What on earth did she expect?!

swanheart 35

Send a private message

Friday 5 June 2015 12:21

Sounds like she is trying to pull a fast one, rather than being stupid. Either way what a shitty customer, I'm sorry. Hopefully your boss will be on your side!