That's gonna hurt your ego for a while OP, FYL

Get rid of her? Well, I guess we do put dogs in shelters. Quick, Google the closest Humane Society!

That escalated quickly! however so sorry OP. divorce it now before it lays eggs....

That escalated quickly! however so sorry OP. divorce it now before it lays eggs....

Hilariously enough, my first thought was "kill shelter", but I thought that'd come off too harsh.

That **** hungry bitch.

*hums theme to Batman*

Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

More like Instant Divorce...

I don't think you understood the joke..

Now I see why you almost missed your face in your selfie.

Actually, my face is quite visible. It's my hair that is not. Not sure what that has to do with a reference to "Mississippi Queen" regardless. Also, a selfie is a lot better than men always posting photos of their machines, or are you a transformer?

mississippi queen is about a drag queen. the reference really wasnt a good one

#4, what does where she comes from has to do with anything?

it's a song reference

90, I wonder how many people thumbed down thinking I was an idiot because they didn't get the reference and thought I was spouting nonsense. I know it was pretty dumb but still, I thought it was funny~ Aha.

And that's all that matters 106

Solid reference 4. Poo on everyone that missed out.

I got the reference, just wasn't funny or all that much relevant.

Didn't see that coming.

His wife did though.

#91 The builders did

Why would he get rid of her? She is obviously terrific in bed, evident by the queue at her bedroom door. *sarcasm...

You are hilarious 134

that paternity court judge is awful.

I didnt know there was only one for the entire planet

#23: Just because you know one paternity judge who is awful, doesn't mean all of them are awful

oh. no, there's not one for the entire planet, and I don't think they are all awful. notice how 6 said "episode." I was talking about the TV shows Divorce Court and Paternity Court. I guess my comment looks really dumb if you're not familiar. the PC judge is a loud, obnoxious, totally irrelevant lady and she's absolutely ridiculous.

Never saw the show.

That's a bit harsh, maybe the workmen misunderstood when OP told them that his wife thinks she's the ****** boss.

No shit Sherlock

I doubt she was paid. Unfaithful, yes. However, ****** are paid. They have sex for money; which is why they are called Sex Workers. Not that having sex and getting paid to do something you love is wrong as long as you're safe and clean... but "*****" isn't really the proper wording here.

Way to take that literally.

I think ***** can be used on an unfaithful bitch...

No, I agree. Prostitution is one of the worlds oldest professions and should be respected as such. Unfaithful bitch is more accurate than *****. Being promiscuous and being a horrible person are two different things.

I disagree. Being promiscuous is being slutty, and a slutty person is not what I'd call a "Good person".

If we're going to take things literally, you can't call her "bitch" either, as she is not a dog. Even if she moves around like one.

Being slutty is just a derogatory term to **** shame women who enjoy and participate in sex just as much as men, that doesn't make them a bad person at all. What makes them a bad person is cheating on their husband to get said sex when they're in a prior commitment

*abwhore* You're welcome.