Work and Intimacy: Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in...

By Anonymous - 04/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 021

You deserved it 491

Work Intimacy

Mama's boy

Stop talking!

New life

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 892

You deserved it 2 453

By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Macungie

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 783

You deserved it 3 140

It's a conspiracy!

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 23:00

Today, it turns out calling out my mother's best friend out for the right-wing conspiracy theorist she is wasn't one of my best ideas. Now, my mother won't even reply to my messages. It's been two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 431

By girlgirlinsanity - 25/07/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 416

You deserved it 5 753

By anonymous - 25/11/2014 03:25 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 541

You deserved it 3 748

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 19:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 218

You deserved it 3 289

By Dean Heffern - 22/02/2011 14:28

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 4 088

By Tjop - 15/04/2011 11:50 - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me, just after I fixed-up her house that took me about 3 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 6 009

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 36 925

By sprainedankle - 17/05/2013 20:49 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 572

You deserved it 15 700

By JRock - 22/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 853

By targetlove - 10/01/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 225

You deserved it 3 387

By Elcam - 16/10/2013 08:22 - Belgium

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 734

You deserved it 5 599

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 224

You deserved it 36 308

By Jesse from - 03/08/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 226

You deserved it 38 898

House rules

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 22:00

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for months. Not knowing where the date would take us, I shaved my pubic hair. Later, in the middle of making out with the guy, my dad storms into the room to tell me, "I had to get some Draino, your pubes clogged the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 1 095

By shoggoth_wild - 27/02/2015 14:13 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 886

You deserved it 3 494

By Taylor - 20/01/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 2 134

By butisavedyourkid - 06/06/2013 04:13 - United States

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 184

You deserved it 3 520

By SeaBind - 16/11/2014 00:41 - United States - Saginaw

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 3 242

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 673

You deserved it 6 401

By Liz0352 - 08/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 884

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 403

You deserved it 31 155

By minette08 - 29/01/2010 21:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 031

You deserved it 3 052

By ryuken23 - 14/02/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, after breaking down in front of my therapist over some really sensitive issues, she decided to also break down. Not about my story but about her own life. I'm not being paid to comfort and console my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 2 910

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 21:33 - Canada

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 901

You deserved it 75 215

By catsonuincorns - 15/04/2018 06:00 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 448

You deserved it 225

By ktinanic - 30/12/2011 17:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 025

You deserved it 3 055

By Anonymous - 18/11/2011 11:17 - Canada

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 949

You deserved it 2 587

Unmatched

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom - Buckie

Today, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. Her reason? I'm "not interesting." I said things that might have led to a conversation, she would say "yeah" to everything. She argued about stuff I said that she didn't like; called my mates cunts; didn't let me have female mates. All her mates are lads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 235

By sm702 - 12/07/2011 16:45 - United States

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 52 242

By ticket - 06/10/2009 15:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 893

You deserved it 6 854

By probably not getting the job - 09/03/2015 05:44 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 457

You deserved it 2 661

Shocking

By Anonymous - 02/08/2020 17:01

Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 207

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 2 154

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 883

You deserved it 30 216

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 20:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 815

You deserved it 1 972

By DoctorBreadLegs - 17/07/2019 20:03

Today, I noticed that the roommate application site for college bugged when I first signed up, and my screen name and real name were swapped as a result. Since the site only displays the names of potential roommates and not our own, I've been unknowingly messaging potential roommates as Parakeet19 for about 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 230

The Walking Dead

By Derek Wheeler - 06/12/2020 08:00 - United States - Longview

Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 21:15 - United States

Today, my husband was kind enough to hold my hair back while I was going down on him, but didn't have the thought to comfort me this morning while I suffered the effects of morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 329

You deserved it 5 537

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Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Monday 24 September 2018 4:08

Get a lawyer, and take your husband for everything he's got, and will ever have. It's a shame you can't sue the secretary, and his co-workers, as well. Those fuckers need to be taught a lesson.

wanted_2_want 40

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:24

Correction: he’s still interested in sex. A LOT !! just not with you. Anymore.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Monday 24 September 2018 4:08

Get a lawyer, and take your husband for everything he's got, and will ever have. It's a shame you can't sue the secretary, and his co-workers, as well. Those fuckers need to be taught a lesson.

DraftHail614 17

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Thursday 4 October 2018 3:16

Damn. Not that I don't agree, but who hurt you?

skippydoda 32

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:01

Actually, depending on where she lives she could sue them.

KingAdrock 16

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:32

Sue the husband, yes. Sue the secretary? Not in any state I'm aware of. Usually the only grounds to sue someone who committed adultery with your spouse is if you claim they somehow coerced your spouse into the affair. I'm quite sure that doesn't apply here.

PenguinPal3017 19

Thursday 4 October 2018 8:49

The comment actually said that you CAN'T sue the secretary. Reading comprehension.

bluejello2001 17

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Thursday 4 October 2018 7:24

Leave the secretary alone. We don't know how big the age difference is, but the fact that they started having sex as soon as she turned 18 is skeevy as hell, and hints at possible grooming on the husband's part.

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Thursday 4 October 2018 13:13

Pal, the Universe will die before I finish naming everyone.

Phillycheeze 20

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Thursday 4 October 2018 13:31

I know it doesn't happen often. But people have sued the "mistress" and in some cases have won large monetary verdicts. If memory serves me correctly, I believe the term was stolen affection.

ambaker83 2

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Thursday 4 October 2018 16:01

You can sue the secretary if you live in Hawaii, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah under either (depending on state) alienation of affection or criminal conversion. They're both civil matters with the burden of proof on you that an affair actually took place.

bjnono001 20

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Thursday 4 October 2018 16:54

How is this his co-workers’ fault at all?

Razell 13

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Thursday 4 October 2018 20:59

"<i> the fact that they started having sex as soon as she turned 18 is skeevy as hell, and hints at possible grooming on the husband's part.</i>" I'm going to guess that, since the OP's icon is male, the secretary isn't a "she". ... which, I suppose, doesn't rule out the "grooming" part...

anothermaria 9

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Thursday 4 October 2018 22:28

chill down

ChromoTec 24

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Thursday 4 October 2018 3:12

Well, fuck him then.

Charlie Given 24

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Thursday 4 October 2018 3:41

Get a lawyer ask his co-workers when it started and see if police need to be involved ,then go to your nearest MMA(mixed martial arts) gym seduce a fighter have him beat the shittout of now ex-husband 😈 problem solved

wanted_2_want 40

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:24

Correction: he’s still interested in sex. A LOT !! just not with you. Anymore.

KingAdrock 16

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:33

Get a lawyer and start documenting EVERYTHING. Hire a P.I. and get solid proof of the affair. Then divorce his ass and take everything.

acmariner99 25

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Thursday 4 October 2018 4:49

Maybe your husband just needs a hug ... in the face ... with a chair.

Shawnie Gallant 24

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Thursday 4 October 2018 8:22

Kick that disrespectful secretaryfucker to the curb!

littlenightowl 22

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Thursday 4 October 2018 10:11

what’s disgusting is the fact that he waited til it was “legal”. meaning he probably would have done it already if he wouldn’t have gotten slapped with jail time. get away from that pedophile ASAP.

Hejira Hayes 8

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Thursday 4 October 2018 14:01

And get the secretary away from him too, for her sake. Sisters before misters.

PenguinPal3017 19

Thursday 4 October 2018 16:52

It's disgusting that he waited until she was legal? So it would be better in your eyes if he started before she was legal? Gross!

cylon_god 4

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Thursday 4 October 2018 10:13

What kind of company hires underage secretaries? I realize it's probably not rocket science but it's not a walk in the park either. Aren't you supposed to have some skills and some sort of formal education for that? It's not that I don't believe the OP, it just seems to me that this whole business is fishy. And it's so sad that some men lack in personality so much they want to have sex with such young girls, practically kids.

littlekellilee 45

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Thursday 4 October 2018 10:21

I worked as a receptionist at 17 and did a lot of similar tasks as a secretary. If you don't need a lot done, you don't need a lot of education.

Veroswen 3

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Thursday 4 October 2018 17:51

Seriously? So basically forget her emotions to get laid? Who cares if the girl is 18. Hell 18 is not that hard to get in the first place. You know why? Because they are basically still children. Get a real woman. Human soul needs more than sex to thrive. Sometimes I hate my own gender. Could put most men in a test tube with a pleasure button and they would never have the desire to leave. Might as well stayed a single cell organism.