Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
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Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Slip penis enlargement pills in his drinks. ;D
Miss_Michaela 10
Well, show him that you think he's constipated by slipping laxatives into his morning coffee.
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Comments (115)
nelliealexis 3
He didn't want to hurt your feelings, at least he was nice about it!
poorjudgement 26
How can be nice that someone is giving you stuff that you are not agreed, not even asked about?
perdix 31
I guess it's poor judgment* on their part. *Note the spelling. I'm a pedantic asshole.
toelie 26
Both are correct.
amam96 7
Yes, he should have said something to you, but I'm sure he had good intentions. He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings.
ExToRtiOn 0
Kill him at night
Subakie 20
It's not a "smoothie" if you're using snickers bars
MassiveBalls 0
Well, are you fat? If so, replace the morning smoothie with a morning jog. If not, slip some pig Viagra in his morning drink hehe
StromyG2 10
Don't think so negatively, maybe he doesn't think you're fat. Maybe he's trying to kill you. : )
Lehk 9
>>>>Morning Smoothie
imabeastmofukka 5
you cant blame him if its your fault you got comfortable.
NoNoImWorkingSee 3
That's a tricky line to walk for any guy with a plump spouse. Although putting diet pills unknowingly into someone's food or drink can potentially be dangerous. Sorry that happened OP.