Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
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Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Slip penis enlargement pills in his drinks. ;D
Miss_Michaela 10
Well, show him that you think he's constipated by slipping laxatives into his morning coffee.
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Comments (115)
rogo35 0
Well look at it this way if you weren't fat he wouldn't do it
ChronicBluntz420 7
He's doing you a favor.
MaddiLovesYou12 0
What a jerk
XavierMedina 0
That's messed up.
PapaBear236 0
Well just the fact that you have a morning smoothie says......I mean, I'm not trying to be a........Oh screw it.
ppl2ppl 4
Bahahaha I agree with number 3, slip penis pills, if he catches you and asks you why, just say that you found out that he felt you were too big and that you feel that he is too small. ;D and hey you'll enjoy it so go for it :D lmao
abbyhoneywaffles 11
well thats rude.
SouthernKiller 4
The only problem I see here is that the husband let himself get caught. Bet that was ackward!
Freeze_fml 17
You say morning smoothie like it's some regular thing you have.
fml_ydi79 15
Cares for his own benefit you mean