By foreveravirgin - 15/08/2012 19:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 724
You deserved it 7 303

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why do you assume she would have sex with you?

This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...


DeadxManxWalking 27

"Hopefully" she has alzheimers and OP can send a friend instead!

Or set her up with a date of her own if she isn't still married. Keep her occupied while OP does his deed. #13 - I wouldn't wish that..

24- I know; that's why it's in quotation marks. You know, to indicate the sarcasm?

We can just say that since his grandmother is likely to lecture about a lack of companionship, she'd understand him choosing a date over her

So, you like a girl for months, then get to finally hangout with her. You automatically assume your going to get laid? You are going to be a virgin forever, but for more reasons then your grandma.

Also, unless the girl is a bitch, I'm sure she we would be understanding enough to reschedule the date. If she isn't willing to, then she was probably never worth the time.

13 - Hopefully have alzheimers? That's messed up. Alzheimers is a terrible disease.

Girls come and go but you are lucky you still have your grandmother OP! Don't take advantage of the times you'll miss with her.

96- please see the previous comment of mine; thanks.

I don't think he even has to ditch. His granny seems so keen on seeing him in a relationship that she'd let him off the hook if he just explained it to her. Unless of course his parents are the one forceing him, then I seriously doubt that he would have got laid.

My grandma has Alzheimer's, and it's terrible, I know you were being sarcastic, but it's still not funny!

150- As you said, I was trying to use sarcasm; but I honestly do see the error in my comment, and apologize. My friend's grandmother had dementia and couldn't even recognize anyone near the end. Sorry to all I offended. :

wetofour 7

If OP is still a virgin I'm pretty sure he won't lose it on the first date anyway, even considering there's a small chance she would "give it up."

baddawg365 0

202- Is that an innuendo for incest??

Why do you assume she would have sex with you?

I like the confidence but he was definitely not getting laid. Haha

This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...

flutter4 7

Yeah She probably wouldn't sleep with you after one date... But then again maybe she would have. You will never know now

LittleGreenPaola 23

Most of all, someone who's forced to lunch with his grandmother, seems not that kind of guy who gets laid at the first date!

noelykins1 19

You ever think that maybe not only was he liking her for months but also had been seeing her for awhile?

Because he probably would have said his girlfriend or something similar.

p3mguin 7

Number 76 is right, the could be seeing each other. You people are hypocrites, you say don't make assumptions on other FMLs. Yet you make one here that it was their first date.

83 - First of all.. they*. And not necessarily these people say to not assume on an FML. I wouldn't fling names around, if I were you, unless you have a legit reason for it. I fail to find your reason.

p3mguin: Are you not assuming that they've been seeing each other for a while? Pot calling the kettle black, hmm? Besides, it's impossible NOT to make assumptions on FML. Just by voting FYL, we're assuming that OP is the victim, when they very well could've caused the situation. Yes, some assumptions are more far-fetched than others, but in this case, one guess is as good as another.

Maybe OP's date was a hooker and it took him months to save enough money for their "date" ...

Nowadays most people assume first date equals sex. Gone are the times when we would get to know people first before jumping in the sack. Sad really

Snackycake 20

Well, there are two possibilities: •She's either a *****. •Or some serious date rape was about to go down.

Lunch date doesn't usually mean sex for someone you've been "liking" for months versus "seeing" for months. I think we may have discovered why you're still single. Is it really so difficult to call up the girl and tell her your grandmother is in town and ask to reschedule? Many people think valuing time with family is a good character trait and most others will at least understand it's unavoidable. You could've rescheduled for an evening date and increased your chances.

Marcella1016 31

76 and 84 - Ever heard of context clues? It's something we learn about in school. It is heavily implied by the wording of the FML that it's a first date. Rather than bashing all the people who agree, try scrolling up and reading the FML again. And make sure you try reading between the lines, too.

noelykins1 19

^ I have read it several times, it is possible they may have been seeing each other and or liking one another for a while. Also they could of gone on a date before and maybe they made out. So just maybe he was expecting to get laid on the second date. It is possible. So please don't advise me to do something when you can't even think of any other options.

Bah. Meant to reply to 84 on my comment. /fail whale

noelykins1 19

Oh and OP did say he has liked her for months which could give another clue. It can e interpreted in all sorts of ways.

So glad for being married...i know they aren't but it sounds like most women under 25 have decided whoring themselves for dinner and drinks is a good way to discover yourself and get ahead in life...

135: Untrue, unless the only dates you go on involve slutty chicks and alcohol. Normal people don't expect sex on the first date. Now as for the third date, all bets are off.

Psych101 9

You'd be surprised how often it happens.

dougiewhale 6

Granny should be guiding his ****, not blocking it, lol.

bizarre_ftw 21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Looking at your profile picture, I think you've had first hand experience?

you look like you are a result of incest

Llama_Face89 33

Meh it was a joke. Lay off her.

We understand it was a joke. She doesn't understand it wasn't funny for the rest of us, and apparently neither do you.

103 obviously she attempted to make a joke. Aren't we past that point where that's funny?

I thought it was kinda funny. Guess I must have a terrible sense of humor. :'(

Answer with "because I was forced to come see you instead of going on a date!"

Redoxx_fml 22

I know what you think! It's not a walker, at least I don't think it is...

TriflingAllDay 6

Yes having sex always means *****. I forgot. Also I suppose he is a male *****.

carminecris89 13

It is if you bring chloroform.

You should cherish your time with your grandmother. There will be other girls.

"Even IF she's a woman stealing bitch." ;)

Seriously 18...just no. You're trying too hard to be "funny" and it's obviously not working for you.

Your comment is nowhere near as smart as the guy in your profile photo. Try one of the Jonas brothers.

To both people who replied: I am a classical pianist, and thusly, enjoy Beethoven. I commented just like everybody else, and was quite offended by your comments. The thumbs down button should be sufficient; putting others down is unneccessary. Thanks.

Yeah but your comment was neither funny or insightful and the comments that came were people pointing that out to you also it's not their fault you were offended. It's as you say, they were commenting like everyone else.

Lennes 12

122, I'm very impressed. It's so rare on here to find someone defending them self without looking like a bigger jackass than before.

147- If that truly was sincere, thank-you :)

122- The previous comment that you had made, was just asking for it really. Now, I only really said you were trying too hard, not sure what's so offensive about that. But, maybe next time just think the comment over before displaying it on the internet. Because there are people out there who will do a better job at offending you than myself.

136- I apologize for the fact that I didn’t comment with sole purpose of pleasing you. Also, just because you haven’t been ‘delightful,’ I thought I would point out that you should have said, “neither funny NOR insightful.” Grammar is important when one insults another. 

149- I’ll take the veiled sentiment… thanks?

Not that it matters to me but yeah I was not trying to insult you at all. I was merely talking about the quality of the comment which I thought was inappropriate. If you feel that it was directed at you personally then I apologize.

Things are always hard to fully grasp over the internet. Thanks for the apology, though. :)

mzrobinson 13

Then make your date for dinner? Duh.

etoilenuit 15

Really. Dinner dates are better anyway.

One date and you expect to have sex? Not to mention it's the girl you like. Maybe I'm old-school but I don't treat women like that. Respect them, and they love you for it.

simple solution: reschedule the date. then you can spend time with family and go on your date but don't expect it to happen on the first date. Not all girls are easy and respect her go on a few dates and get to know her it will be better for you then.

I feel like chivalry isn't dead but it's haemorrhaging terribly.

I totally agree. But in this day and age it's the guys who don't respect girls who are constantly getting laid. I just don't understand. But either way I will always respect girls.

kirbeaar 19

It's nice to see guys who genuinely care. I know far too many guys who treat women like a piece garbage.

No they don't, they love assholes. Only until there about thirty and are tired of dealing with that do they finally look for the "nice guy". Even then they still prefer assholes sometimes; they think they will be the "one" to make him change for some reason.

Reschedule? How hard is that? You've waited for months so why not another couple days? Besides it's your grandma, however she is.