Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything... - FML

By Sara - 3/5/2016 16:52 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML

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Cold-blooded old times

Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Time for the ER

By kmtranter - 28/12/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Wembley

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

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By lexyloo - 26/9/2011 01:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

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By Aly - 9/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

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By Snotmyfault - 11/1/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

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By RBHSWedgieGirl - 23/1/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/2/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML

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By whoops - 29/6/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

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By Ozzie - 29/9/2017 19:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my 81-year-old mother threw out the packaging for a 3-day-old $1,700 monitor I was going to return due to a defect. I live in my own home, but she randomly visits to "clean up" without asking me. Now I'm stuck with an expensive, defective monitor. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

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By YuckyDuckyLucky - 3/6/2015 17:36 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

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By nohalloweenforus - 31/10/2016 15:22

Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML

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By Anonymous - 27/9/2010 15:20 - Canada

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

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By { o } - 22/3/2015 17:41 - United States - Miami

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

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By aarone23 - 1/6/2011 13:30 - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

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By wrongcar - 3/11/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

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By dole_out_the_fml - 20/5/2009 17:36 - Canada

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

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By Jason - 24/12/2017 19:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out that conducting CPR and saving a man's life means nothing if you break his ribs. He is suing me for $10,000. FML

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By Noname - 9/1/2009 05:18 - France

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

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By effyou - 10/2/2011 05:16 - United States

Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML

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By mermaidkeels - 18/6/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

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By Yuni - 8/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Mom of the year

Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML

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By ugh - 21/1/2014 18:55 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

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By mooseknuckle - 31/5/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I realized that the closest thing I have to a savings account is the cup on my dresser with coins in it. I counted it, $17.34. That is my savings. I'm 28. FML

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By Mishlette - 23/1/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

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By xXWhiteSheepXx - 8/4/2016 02:28 - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

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By wowjuststop - 3/10/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

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By Mike - 17/9/2019 02:02 - United States - Los Angeles

The Nerve!

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who refers to himself in the third person on a regular basis, told me that I often act entitled. FML

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By heatherfeather22 - 31/7/2014 03:28 - United States - Ottumwa

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

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By gabe8 - 15/6/2009 05:42 - Mexico

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

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By 360whoroscoped - 16/1/2015 18:05 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

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By almostkilledmyself - 29/12/2012 07:30 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

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By tryingtohelp - 24/5/2020 20:00

Good samaritan

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML

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By newmother - 5/12/2010 13:38 - Australia

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

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By smth - 6/7/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

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By hs - 30/5/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/4/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

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By tina - 17/8/2010 12:30 - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

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By NoMoreMeatForAYear - 21/5/2014 21:23 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

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By scotto - 23/2/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

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Top comments

By gosh_mate | 30

#6596663 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:23

Could have politely declined, saying you were happy with your own...

By keithsbooty | 20

#6596656 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:10

Some quality time with your in-laws!

Comments

By keithsbooty | 20

#6596656 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:10

Some quality time with your in-laws!

By gosh_mate | 30

#6596663 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:23

Could have politely declined, saying you were happy with your own...

By fushengyuan | 20

#6596665 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:25

She meant well.
But its so jokes tho!!!

By foxy_grampa | 19

#6596671 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:26

I think in this instance it would have been okay to say no

By bulletsinthewind | 21

#6596688 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 12:01

"No, thank you"

By ssnow_fml | 20

#6596699 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 12:12

Remember, just say no.

By Stooby61 | 18

#6596744 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 13:28

Takes "offering you her support" to a whole new level.

By Kittycorn | 17

#6596746 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 13:30

It's a test to see if you are suitable to join the family !

By citrusglass | 22

#6596784 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 14:27

What if she gave you one of the bras?
Then...later during sex..."hey, that bra looks familiar!"
Yeah, even worse would be getting intimate with your grandma-in-law's intimates.
At least you were polite.

Reply

Superbaker123 | 14

#6596805 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 14:58

Why would OP know what his grandmother's bra looks like?

Reply

Fire36 | 8

#6597278 - Thursday 5 May 2016 2:50

ohhh the innocence is real with this one. no one tell him

By nortwdschick | 24

#6596819 - Wednesday 4 May 2016 15:14

Maybe they were some cool, vintage bras from back in her prime? I'm guessing no, but that sounds way better than being offered some old, stretched out grandma bras. Either way, awkward!!