Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
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Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Why do you assume she would have sex with you?
doctorhook86 25
This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...
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Comments (218)
troublingsmile 1
No wonder you're a single virgin. You don't have the balls to say "sorry grandma, I've got a date."
saintsrocksocks 10
I've heard it's not a problem to be single and virgin. I guess I was wrong...
Briiyahh 7
Ditch her?
BunchieRules 31
The grandma or the crush?
Welshite 40
The grandmother of course. Haven't you ever heard of ditching a grandma? You take your grandma, find the deepest ditch, and pitch her in. Ditching a Grandma. I heard it's all the rage these days; right up there with cow tipping.
AznSamoan52 10
You should spend your time with your grandmother while you still can. Who knows, she could have passed away if you chose to go on a date with your girl.
NashyzzleTheN 10
Tell her you'll get lunch with her tomorrow!
klovely22 13
If the girl you like is willing to have sex with you on the first date, then she isn't worth it. You are better off having lunch with grandma.
ImmaB3AST 7
You're not the smartest tool in the shed, are ya? You have plenty of options to get the apparent guarantee of sex the same day.
andiewithlove 21
Emphasis on "tool".
sweetmama88 6
Tell granny your very busy getting ready for school , and make the date for another day! And go out and get your grove on .
birdfreak 24
Reschedule, can't be too hard
sougstad 7
You will be forever a virgin if you believe you will be forever a virgin. Stop being a puss and go out and meet another girl!
007type 26
If you are single, OP? Are you planning on loosing your virginity on first date? Kids there days...
klovely22 13
Try it this way, "If you are single, OP, do you plan on losing your virginity on the first date? Kids these days." Now doesn't that look/sound better?
flipcrazy 0
Your single and planning on losing your virginity on the first date, OP? Kids these days.
sunshine330 5
You're***