Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
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Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Why do you assume she would have sex with you?
doctorhook86 25
This FML smells like it was written by someone under age 20...
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Comments (218)
Dusty_Busters 15
You probably wouldnt have gotten any anyways lol
Fmlsea 28
You will be forever a virgin if you keep assuming that this chick will magically jump on your penis , not all females are easy and sex should be the last thing on your mind when on a date .
Steffi 26
Maybe, you wouldn't be single, if you didn't expect sex, on the first date?
aerogxt 7
If that's why you wanna go out with her, I do believe I've found the reason you're single...
Kathts7 12
I Think your gran would understand if you want to go on the date.. But why do you expect sex?
fg_cn 3
guys are always expecting sex, ain't we?
davidm200 6
GO FOR THE DATE!!!! DITCH UR GRANDMA!!!
cherryllollo 7
You're probably single because you automatically think girls are gonna give it up to you.. find a *****. She'll take your vcard and don't even have to date!
elliepenguin 5
YDI for thinking you'll get into her panties on the FIRST DATE.
DaSandman 9
who said you were going to get in her pants?