By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 855
You deserved it 7 436

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Top comments

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

Comments

That sucks, learn to use it OP

Or if you just cant get it right, use a vibrator on her. that'll get her;)

sex doesn't just involve the private parts you know..

It doesn't?!.. Sex.. As in sexual intercourse? .. I'm from Canada and I dunno if you have a different kind of sex ed wherever your from BUT sex is, and always has been, involving the "private parts". If your being sarcastic someone really should make a sarcastic font! :)

So you mean to tell me my brother was lying to me the whole time when he said to make babies I need to stick my nose in her belly button and blow as hard as I can?

Last time I checked sex involved a guys' you know and a girls' you know...but hey what do I know

Yea 25 I'm in Canada I it same classes

I agree with 16. Sex involves the entire body...

Canada, they even manage to make sex boring.

He didn't say it didn't involve inside part he said it didn't JUST involve them. If you think that that is all sex is then you have bigger problems than being Canadian.

Well, im not visiting Canada anytime soon! For a woman, sex does involve the whole body. It also can start hours before having sex for us. A pat on the ass, a sexy whisper in the ear, brushing your fingers over her neck... Do something every time you walk by her! Try it guys, and you'll see a change.

This remind anyone else of that one Friends episode?

40, 54, and 55 you girls know how its done..

you're so stupid, it must hurt

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

This guy knows what he's talking about.

Try to put in as much effort into sex as you do her massage

dude, eat her out to warm her up instead. works well

It works well... I should know

Alot of FMLs are about sex. It seems like people just can't get their sex lives together.

#4 Lol, I didn't expect to read that or at least for it to be worded that way. But on a serious note, that is probably a good idea.

#94 I agree. It's a shame really. But they are interesting to say the least.

Gotta love your way of thinking!!!

Well, massages can be pretty orgasmic sometimes...

I dont know whats worse your picture , or the fact that i click on it anyway every single time!

xD your comment made my day

I just can't take that comment seriously with that picture..

BRIAN PEPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't blame her kind of, getting a good massage is heavenly:) And hey, that must mean you're good at giving massages ^^ So you should be proud about that :3

Did Keev get a new account? :)

Eeyup I did ^_^ You guys won't get rid of me that fast :)

Well what happened to the old one?

Rage quitting ^_^ I were in a bad mood and needed some time to collect myself ^^

Well we're glad you're back :)

This should be an fml for your gf. I'm sure you still get off......

Not every girl has to moan while having sex, it also doesn't mean she's pleased any the less either.

I agree. Porn is not reality.

Awe, don't feel bad OP, at least you can make her feel good in some ways. :)

You should feel bad OP.. You're just terrible in bed it seems

Start by giving her a relaxing massage. Then make it part of your foreplay! She'll be relaxed and after your hands have been all over her body, you'll both be "in the mood".