By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 919
You deserved it 7 466

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

lukep135 6

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

Comments

Or if you just cant get it right, use a vibrator on her. that'll get her;)

sex doesn't just involve the private parts you know..

starman02 12

It doesn't?!.. Sex.. As in sexual intercourse? .. I'm from Canada and I dunno if you have a different kind of sex ed wherever your from BUT sex is, and always has been, involving the "private parts". If your being sarcastic someone really should make a sarcastic font! :)

So you mean to tell me my brother was lying to me the whole time when he said to make babies I need to stick my nose in her belly button and blow as hard as I can?

Last time I checked sex involved a guys' you know and a girls' you know...but hey what do I know

Miss_Trejo 5

I agree with 16. Sex involves the entire body...

gravygecko 2

Canada, they even manage to make sex boring.

He didn't say it didn't involve inside part he said it didn't JUST involve them. If you think that that is all sex is then you have bigger problems than being Canadian.

challan 19

Well, im not visiting Canada anytime soon! For a woman, sex does involve the whole body. It also can start hours before having sex for us. A pat on the ass, a sexy whisper in the ear, brushing your fingers over her neck... Do something every time you walk by her! Try it guys, and you'll see a change.

This remind anyone else of that one Friends episode?

40, 54, and 55 you girls know how its done..

Start by giving her a massage, then try to get laid. Sounds like she's in the mood.

lukep135 6

Try the massage sex combo. That works every time in pleasing your lover

kikiwi_fml 9

This guy knows what he's talking about.

deransc 19

Try to put in as much effort into sex as you do her massage

dude, eat her out to warm her up instead. works well

Alot of FMLs are about sex. It seems like people just can't get their sex lives together.

lebronesque73091 12

#4 Lol, I didn't expect to read that or at least for it to be worded that way. But on a serious note, that is probably a good idea.

lebronesque73091 12

#94 I agree. It's a shame really. But they are interesting to say the least.

DontClickOnMe 28

Well, massages can be pretty orgasmic sometimes...

I dont know whats worse your picture , or the fact that i click on it anyway every single time!

jayylove 1

I just can't take that comment seriously with that picture..

I can't blame her kind of, getting a good massage is heavenly:) And hey, that must mean you're good at giving massages ^^ So you should be proud about that :3

Eeyup I did ^_^ You guys won't get rid of me that fast :)

Rage quitting ^_^ I were in a bad mood and needed some time to collect myself ^^

This should be an fml for your gf. I'm sure you still get off......

Not every girl has to moan while having sex, it also doesn't mean she's pleased any the less either.

Awe, don't feel bad OP, at least you can make her feel good in some ways. :)

You should feel bad OP.. You're just terrible in bed it seems

pinkpixie06 11

Start by giving her a relaxing massage. Then make it part of your foreplay! She'll be relaxed and after your hands have been all over her body, you'll both be "in the mood".