Today, on Dr. Phil… - FML

Today, on Dr. Phil…

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 478

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Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 112

My pleasure

By billjoebob424 - 07/02/2020 01:00 - Canada

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 736

By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 925

You deserved it 7 475

Mind games

By LittleRed - 05/03/2012 08:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 4 280

By erin - 04/02/2010 14:51 - France

Spicy

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cybersex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 303

You deserved it 33 785

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 722

You deserved it 22 421

By itchtoscratch - 04/07/2016 04:14

Spicy

Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 919

You deserved it 3 100

By SuperJesus - 01/02/2009 10:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 470

You deserved it 8 078

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Spicy

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 987

You deserved it 4 570

To each their own

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

user53658 15

Tuesday 24 September 2019 12:11

Congratulations on this important insight, masturbating instead of having real sex will save you a ton of drama, trouble and money in the long run.

Kevin Fletcher 10

Monday 23 September 2019 22:42

Less pressure. Makes sense

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Monday 23 September 2019 18:36

Pictures don’t speak. I get it.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 23 September 2019 22:39

Does she look good, but smell bad?

Kevin Fletcher 10

Monday 23 September 2019 22:42

Less pressure. Makes sense

user53658 15

Tuesday 24 September 2019 12:11

Congratulations on this important insight, masturbating instead of having real sex will save you a ton of drama, trouble and money in the long run.

WeirdUS 29

Sunday 29 September 2019 1:47

Been there, dated someone I found very attractive but we are not on the same page as far as sex. Sex and Money are the 2 biggest reasons for cheating and/or the relationship ending.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 686

You deserved it 3 321

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 317

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 206

You deserved it 3 856

Today, our sons, who we thought were asleep, came barging into our room in the middle of the first blowjob my wife has given me in weeks. She was so shocked, she bit down and pulled away at the same time, tearing the big vein on the top of my cock. I had to go to hospital for blood loss and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 233

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 473

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 636

Today, after just two days of asking me to officially be his girlfriend, my boyfriend started following his ex-fiancé. When confronted, he admitted to chatting with her for over two hours about an important family matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 151

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 257

You deserved it 3 581