By Anonymous - 18/8/2021 18:01

Confusion is Sex

  Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML
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By  RichardPencil  |  30

"She was asking for it?" Alright, calm down, Harvey.

She was just upset that she had the best sex ever. Some people can't handle good things happening to them -- they think they deserve crap. Next time you massage her, give her terrible sex. That'll make her happy.

By  Plop  |  14

That'll teach you to put out so easily! You should learn to keep your legs closed. Or rather, crossed. I guess that'd be more effective for guys.

And you do realize that all she means is that she wanted to have some romantic cuddly time with you and not end up screaming your name with her face buried in a pillow? That being said, massages very easily get erotic since you end up groping all over the place. Not sure how you fix that...

On a more positive note, it sounds like your wife and you have an extremely healthy intimate life (and I don't just mean sex). So, kudos for that.

COMMENTS
By  RichardPencil  |  30

"She was asking for it?" Alright, calm down, Harvey.

She was just upset that she had the best sex ever. Some people can't handle good things happening to them -- they think they deserve crap. Next time you massage her, give her terrible sex. That'll make her happy.

By  Plop  |  14

That'll teach you to put out so easily! You should learn to keep your legs closed. Or rather, crossed. I guess that'd be more effective for guys.

And you do realize that all she means is that she wanted to have some romantic cuddly time with you and not end up screaming your name with her face buried in a pillow? That being said, massages very easily get erotic since you end up groping all over the place. Not sure how you fix that...

On a more positive note, it sounds like your wife and you have an extremely healthy intimate life (and I don't just mean sex). So, kudos for that.

By  Sonotsuave  |  33

I mean, sometimes I think to myself that I’m not going to fuck my boyfriend today and then somehow it always happens. I kinda understand the whole being conflicted notion like maybe she didn’t plan on that happening but at the same time if she asked for it & was happy with the quality then idk that’s on her, not seeing a problem or a rational reason to take it back and get angry