By Goodie - 09/09/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 769
You deserved it 7 769

Same thing different taste

Top comments

People do marry people they want to stay with forever. But then real life happens, circumstances and people change, and it can become impossible to be together without being miserable. Check your judgemental, ignorant, uninformed attitude, dude. Let people handle their own affairs without being sneered at.

#2 and #13, the point of alimony is that you give money because they need it. If he's buying things that aren't necessities, then it looks like she's just losing that much money.


at least he's not spending it on hookers ;)

Every other word here would've been gold digger If the OP was a man complaining about his ex wife.

Its a flipped version of 2 and a half men. =D

Jaque_Aze 0

The point of the judgment is to let him live in a lifestyle he as grown accustom to. So its not an fml. It happens every day to guys so get over it

if it were a man paying a woman alimony this post would not have been a thought, let alone be posted on the site

That's what alimony is dumb shit. Quit complaining OP

OP is a female Alan Harper and I kinda feel like some justice has been done to the Alan Harpers of this world...still, sucks to be in that position

#2 and #13, the point of alimony is that you give money because they need it. If he's buying things that aren't necessities, then it looks like she's just losing that much money.

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People do marry people they want to stay with forever. But then real life happens, circumstances and people change, and it can become impossible to be together without being miserable. Check your judgemental, ignorant, uninformed attitude, dude. Let people handle their own affairs without being sneered at.

Willy75 0

If they didn't want their affairs sneered at they shouldn't have posted the public FML to begin with. Yeah people change and circumstances happen, that's when you need to adapt. Marriage takes work and adaptation, but most people don't look that far ahead when getting married which is why the divorce rate is so high. It's the easy way out when things get bad. Nobody actually wants to work and be selfless anymore. If you can't make a commitment that's meant to last a lifetime don't make a commitment at all.

CDS09 0

Alimony is not to supply the basic necessities of life, its to keep both people living in the life style they are used to. Thats why when millionaires get divorced the wife (or husband if the wife is the rich one) gets millions. If alimony was just for the necessities then this would really suck. It still does suck for the OP, but by law, he can spend his money or whatever he wants. Its not like child support that has to go to the kids (theoretically) OP can at least take comfort in knowing that she is not a deadbeat, although I am sure its not much comfort.

Haha, clearly nobody will ever want to marry you by your terms then.

That's why "for better or worse" is one of the vows you swear at the wedding. YDI for lying to him when you got married.

Who says the cause of the divorce was her? Maybe it was the husband who lied.

maybe you shouldn't have cause the break up in which a court ordered you to pay alimony

I'm not an expert on alimony but wouldn't it only mean that she earned or had more money than him NOT that she necessarily caused the breakup?

TJStarzZ 8

I'm not an expert either, but I think if the male is the unemployed spouse or non-worker, if t here's a divorce, the female has to pay him for doing..nothing? Not totally sure, but it's sort of like child support without the children.

why would alimony payment depend on gender?? if a woman is unemployed - otherwise known as house-wife - and there's a divorce then she's still entitled to a certain level of financial support. marriage MEANS something people. there are consequences to getting it wrong.

Bull!! Housewife doesn't mean unemployed ,,, dumbass

Marcella1016 31

Of course it does 128. Are you calling being a housewife a job? -_- I find it ironic that you called the poster before you an idiot.

766746 0

What, does he have to spend it on something you approve of? Or is he not supposed to get on with his life and buy cool stuff? He's not your husband anymore, who cares.

And? It's his money now so he can do what he wants with it. *pfft* that's like my ex-husband trying to tell me what I can spend the child support money on. Well it would be if he actually paid any child support money!

Well, surely he can tell you to spend the child support money on, I don't know... ...Your child?

No actually, the paying spouse can't dictate what the money is spent on. I could (hypothetically) spent the non-existent child support on cask wine and gigolos if I chose to. Technically MY money is already being spent on housing, food, education, clothing and the like so any child support just gets added to the household budget to be spent as needed. We don't have alimony here so I don't understand it - why support someone, when there isn't a child, when they could get a job or go on benefits if they couldn't get a job? It's a foreign concept to me

It gets even better than that, thequickredofox, here is the US, we have 50 different sets of divorce laws. Alimony used to be a foreign concept in Texas, but they added it recently if you've been married for at least 10 years. That law came into effect after I had been married 10-1/2 years. Wah-wah-waaaaahhhh! I know a guy who pays child support to his ex. She has no job, a new car and his kid is on a steady diet of Ramen noodles. The US Justice System in neither just nor a system. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Thequickredofox, take him to court and make him pay. My aunt and her husband dumped their kids on my grandparents, and their father never paid child support. Only recently did my grandparents take him to court to get the money. They got quite a bit, but they could have gotten a lot more because they took him to court after my cousins had already turned 18.

honeyishrnkdakid 2

He should report her for neglect and sue her for custody if he's concerned. Then she'll have to pay him child support.

brilliantbarbie 0

First, child support is supposed to go to the welfare of the children, and in a situation where your ex-spouse were to go to court and argue that the child support was in fact being spent on jigalos, the court could easily downward modify the payment amounts. Its called child support for a reason, how sad is it in a divorce that we piss and moan about getting "money we deserve" and then demand that we get to "spend it however the hell I want it, I deserve it" Nice that in all of this the children are the ones we forget about right?? Mommy needs a new pair of shoes? How sad. And if I read your response, in the same paragraph you say that your moneys already being spent, and that the Child support gets added "to the household budget to be spent as needed" no one needs cask wine or gigolos...Your own statements could be argued against you...go you!!! The reason we have alimony in America is because when you enter into a marriage, you share your lives and everything that goes along with it. You get rich, you get poor, you do it together. There are plenty of women who sacrifice their lives for their spouses and vice versa (as seems to be the case in this matter), they cant just "go out and get a job" if they have been married for 20 years and never worked....or never completed an education. Why should someone who invests in a marriage TOO, have to go on benefits or welfare because their shitty ex spouse can't accept that it takes 2 to tango, and no one gets married alone. That shit happens way to often. Yes, it is true, there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there, but there are just as many deadbeat moms. The difference? The mom has to practically beat the child to death, be a drug addict, and be homeless before Social Services takes the child. The father has to pay support regardless if the mother lets him see the child. And if the father gets accused of any of these actions, he is treated in a "Guilty until proven innocent" manner.

BrilliantBarbie and laut are gods among FMLs. As BB said, both partners have to invest into a marriage, if one is investing money and the other time, then if they break up, the partner investing the time is screwed; if you're 35, never worked, don't have a degree, and your main skills are sex and cooking, it's VERY unlikely that you'll be able to make enough money to support you. And laut is right too - in divorces, the man is always guilty until proven innocent.

@brilliantbarbie - I think you're missing my biting sarcasm! Summary: my ex-husband was a gambling addict. I supported him financially for our entire marriage. I work, always have, always will. I can't take him to court because a: it costs too much money and b: you can't get blood out of a stone. Child support is about paying your "part" of the cost of an upkeep of your biological child (at least here it is) so unless the paying spouse can prove the child is starving and barefoot, the child support association is powerless to dictate how you spent it. 9 times out of 10 they're powerless to get non-payers to pay either :( Although I suppose I could reverse the equation and say that "his" child support goes to the child and I get to spend "my" money on case wine and loose men - would that make it better? Hmm, but that would mean that my child was starving because there is NO child support *lol* In all seriousness, I don't want any of his non-existent money, I'd much rather he just stayed the hell away from us! That's why I still don't understand alimony, if a marriage ends you should move on, too bad if you were used to a certain "lifestyle" - find a way to fund it or adjust your priorities. .... damn it, and I was so looking forward to cask goon and buffed men *pfft*

Here in america (not sure where you are) men get thrown in jail for not paying child support in most states- even if they got laid off.

@meandonlyme: I'm in Australia - the worst that happens here is he could be stopped from leaving the country and they can garnish his tax return if he's owed one. If he was employed (legally and on the books) it could be garnished from wages, or if he was on benefits it could be garnished from them. Not sure I'd want him sent to jail. That would mean that my tax dollars would be spent housing him *lol* That's a lose-lose situation, how are they meant to earn money to pay child support from jail?

skullbuster 0

@Plexico. Damn, with that quick wit and charm, I would have pegged you for the couch moocher in the divorce. It's not too late to ride the barcalounger with pride and appeal that support order!!

michael666 7

that's no good, my dad owes me $50,000 im child support and it just got cancelled,

Here in Canada they usually do not throw you in jail for not making payments. I got $25 the other day and it went to food. My ex asked if he can have the money back (it was taken out of his bank account) he does that every time FMEP "steals" his money. Yup that winner accuses FMEP for stealing his money. They don't even try to hard to get money usually. Kind of shocked I got the $25 dollars.

None of your business what he spends it on. I agree with the people above me.

Inked2009 0

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Once it leaves her bank account and goes into his it stops being her money.

TJStarzZ 8

Actually, it isn't her money once it's redirected towards him. Child support, Alimony, call it what you want, all garnishments/ deductions from HER paycheck, meaning it's moeny SHE can't keep, in short, if she wasn't such a ******* bitch and wanted to divorce or sue a guy claiming to have no job, she wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. OP, your fault from the beginning. Get over it, you got what you deserved, bitch.

Why is she a bitch? Because he's a lazy ****? Seriously, you're an idiot.

TJStarzZ 8

No, because she's crying about a divorce between the two which resulted in her paying alimony. Seriouskly, lern2read before calling someone an idiot.

brilliantbarbie 0

Really??? and I bet your the K-Fed advocate of the world then right??? OR ARE YOU K-FED, because it wouldnt surprise me that you'd be on here with all the spare time you got getting fatter and lazier. First, we don't know what caused the divorce...and obviously since this is about alimony and NOT about child support, I think its safe to say he just sat on his ass all day....trying to figure out how to get a flat-screen to watch, buying an ipod to listen to, and betting a digital camera to take picutures of "still life's." There is no indication that SHE wanted the Divorce, or that SHES a crazy bitch, HOWEVER I can see where him sitting on his LAZY ASS ALL DAY would lead her to file for this case sadly to say, she needs to just cut her losses, but it doesn't make it any easier to take. It sucks that she's working her ass off to watch her ex sit on his, which is why this is a FML... if you cant put that together IDK what to tell you, and the person calling you an idiot was right, I HATE to be the bearer of bad news.

it could equally go both way all of you are ******* retarded id say im going to have to assume OP ****** uo because iv been to court many time for family and the judge always ruled based off of two things either a one jackass was bein rude as **** to the judge prior to sentencing or the evidence clearly stated that the person in question is an asshole so im sorry to say that i think OP probably has it coming cause a judge wouldnt sentence her to pay allimony if the guy shows the appearance of being lazy (aka not haveing a job) seeing as how he probably had a job due to the judges decision you all need to shut the **** up

FYI my fiances ex-wife made a mockery of marriage (cheated on him with several guys to get her drug fix) and she could have gotten him to pay alimony. So, this divorce was her fault yet he would have to support her drug habit? He did not cheat on her at all just so you know. He just messed up and married a *****.

Way to assume, what has made you some how know that he just sits on his ass? just because he bought some shit he wanted he is now just some lazy **** that sits around all day. I guarantee he has a job to pay for his house car ect ect. Use you head asshole

lamezzzville 0

hey... for the first time ever its a woman bitching about where her money goes and not the other way around. I hate this law... its utter garbage, my uncle can barely survive because he has to give 2/3 to his ex wife, and he still has their 2 kids. She recently took a trip to the bahamas with his money, and his friend. FhisL... not yours what he spends that money on isnt of your concern

She's the one paying him money -./ so she's in your uncle's position -.-

Pastor_Rich 0