Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML
Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML
Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML
Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I realized just how much of my life I’ve wasted. I was always raised with the “What will people think?” ideology by religious zealots. The anxiety it gave me influenced everything from what I wore, to where I went, even what I studied in school. I wish I’d been strong enough to be myself. FML
Today, I learned that my parents know that I have no friends when they told me to go and make some. FML
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Top comments
incognitho 2
continue being set apart. your enemies will be in your own household Jesus said. you will be persecuted for his name sake. pray the Lord gives them eyes to see because they are of the world and blinded right now
Yudith 28
You should bring your church friends home for a nice evening of hymn chanting and herbal tea, just to show your parents that you do have friends. Don't forget the church pamphlets; you don't want your parents to mistake your church for one of those sects, do you?
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Comments (3)
GoogieWithers 25
Did they tell you that was the reason?
JasonThorn 23
I'd respond with, "The people thinking going to church on Sundays is suspicious and won't want to be my friends sound like people I probably shouldn't be around anyway. So, it is not a BUG, it's a FEATURE."
Yudith 28
You should bring your church friends home for a nice evening of hymn chanting and herbal tea, just to show your parents that you do have friends. Don't forget the church pamphlets; you don't want your parents to mistake your church for one of those sects, do you?
incognitho 2
continue being set apart. your enemies will be in your own household Jesus said. you will be persecuted for his name sake. pray the Lord gives them eyes to see because they are of the world and blinded right now
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'm 100% certain this sentence started out in Aramaic, and was then translated into Elvish, Dothraki, Romulan, Klingon, Cybertronian, Hylian, ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics, Morse code, Alienese, and then finally into broken English.