Intimacy: Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 198

You deserved it 14 986

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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 490

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 12 850

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 280

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 825

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 263

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 368

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 062

You deserved it 4 515

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

fxdxhk90 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:20

How is this an fml moment? Replace the battery and quit complaining.

Ilovelife07 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:20

#3, the 3rd step should clearly be "invite your friend over and tell her to bring a cup"

revezone 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:21

#24 tell her to bring a cup? thats right because she clearly has no cups of her own.

Nomad609 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:23

well you can always do it again so quit wasting your time and get back to it!!! just remember to recharge ...

ZuRG_fml 7

Monday 15 June 2009 20:23

#3 ripped from bash @OP: i'm sorry all of your partners have sucked. call me, i fix

NotDave 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:04

You're what we call a "douche".

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 15 June 2009 20:24

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, if it died on the first run, either it's a super vibrator that sucks up juice faster than a street *****, or it's already been used. FYL either way.

Vehicle 1

Monday 15 June 2009 20:24

Yeah totally should not be an FML. I agree with #21. This FML is just immature.

ohJeeznotme 7

Monday 15 June 2009 20:25

Perhaps you should not date guys who suck at sex? Oh, and get brand name batteries, not the dollar store ones.

kitkatkelly 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:26

Obviously none of the commenters so far have had this happen to them. Especially when you don't have an extra battery on hand. It SUCKS. And fyi, not every girl can ****** using just her fingers.

cxal_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:27

If you had no hope of ever having an ****** before this how did you know that you were literally 2 seconds away? And really, you were using this for 8-24 hours just to climax? or was it a used vibrator and that's why the batteries died....

fermata 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:28

I think it's a truth universally acknowledged that you know when you've orgasmed, and you know when you are pretty damn close. OP, sorry that this happened. On the other hand, I'm glad you finally found out a way to have your needs met.