Intimacy: Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 198

You deserved it 14 986

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 490

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 12 850

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 280

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 825

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 263

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 368

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 062

You deserved it 4 515

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

slutybunny777 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:45

hahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahah but really u hav never had an ******

CallMeHush 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:45

What the hell does that thing run on? Either your "friend" tried it out for a month or two, you know just to make sure it works or you need to jump that thing off a truck battery.

yoyobecks 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:45

i can give you an ****** no problem

Lonely_Lez 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:47

#21: She's saying she'd never had an ****** at all. She never said that her vibrator was a person. OP: That sucks. Batteries that come with things tend to suck. Get some better ones and try again. Good luck!

littlejacks4 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:47

#21, stop trying to be a smart ass. she obviously meant there was no hope for an ****** until she got the vibrator. if she didn't know the difference between a person and a vibrator, she wouldn't be up and running on FML, now would she?

slutybunny777 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:49

#45 will u give me one haahah

genius_man16 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:50

i second #34 XD also your life is ****** not because your vibrator couldn't get you off, but because you have had shitty sex partners

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 15 June 2009 20:51

#24 - LOL

Ommis 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:51

use the energizer bunny power next time. it = win for you.

mistystarlight 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:52

man that sucks! probably used batteries that got sucked dry bc vibraters use a lot of energy. she probably took a little longer than normal due to the fact it takes a long time for certain girls to reach that big "O" moment. Especially the frist "O".