Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 498

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 216

You deserved it 14 992

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 6 407

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 237

You deserved it 12 862

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 273

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 353

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

By ToysforHire - 22/09/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 7 842

Mixed results

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 17:00

Today, I realized that in the 3 and half month relationship with a wonderful guy I truly like, so far I've masturbated more than the whole year I was single before I met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 270

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 987

You deserved it 4 570

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 4 253

TxKitten 8

Friday 7 August 2020 18:54

Toys are a totally different feeling, fun, good, but different. I'll still take my man over a vibrator any day. Toys are fun to incorporate with your partner as well. It can add another layer to the encounter. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 7 August 2020 17:57

Good thing I have one foot in the grave before men became obsolete. Not only can the machine make you cum more, you can also take it with you shopping and it won't complain. They'll probably keep a few of us around for sperm production and to point and laugh at our genitals that don't work as well as vibrators.

Comments

Hugball 22

Friday 7 August 2020 17:23

i had the same feeling after my first time with a " pro " ...geez had i knew before, i would have never bothered and wasted all this cash and time on gifts for my ex's and their lousy sex...

Sumus125 17

Friday 7 August 2020 20:32

RichardPencil 30

Friday 7 August 2020 17:57

mcsmee 7

Friday 7 August 2020 22:14

Don't they already laugh at our genitals? What, they only laugh at mine?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 8 August 2020 1:13

Probably. They weep when they see mine. "Oh, God, what have I done to deserve this!"

TxKitten 8

Friday 7 August 2020 18:54

Sady_Ct 37

Friday 7 August 2020 22:15

My husband and I always use toys together, it’s AMAZING. Sadly women don’t cum easily from ‘penis in, penis out, penis in....’

millsjoshua949 12

Friday 7 August 2020 23:43

I'm a bit confused that you seem to be complaining that your vibrator worked so well. ydi?

JackFaire 27

Sunday 9 August 2020 5:57

I think the issue is that moment you realize that you've been settling in sex with your partners. Too many are all "let's do this okay I got mine good night" My ex-wife would get her orgasms more often than I would and I was left unsatisfied.

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 8 August 2020 6:34

****** by sex is still better than with a vibrator though, imo.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 12 August 2020 3:33

It's not that common for women to ****** from penetration, unlike what we read in books. My vibrator does more for me than my husband, but it doesn't give me the emotional bond. So it's kind of a double-edged sword.