Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I came two times in a row, for the first time in my life. I'm 45 years-old and I was using my dildo on my myself. I was thinking of my ex, so that's proof my dildo is better. I've been missing out on myself for decades. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
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Top comments
TxKitten 8
Toys are a totally different feeling, fun, good, but different. I'll still take my man over a vibrator any day. Toys are fun to incorporate with your partner as well. It can add another layer to the encounter. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
RichardPencil 32
Good thing I have one foot in the grave before men became obsolete. Not only can the machine make you cum more, you can also take it with you shopping and it won't complain. They'll probably keep a few of us around for sperm production and to point and laugh at our genitals that don't work as well as vibrators.
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Comments (8)
Hugball 22
i had the same feeling after my first time with a " pro " ...geez had i knew before, i would have never bothered and wasted all this cash and time on gifts for my ex's and their lousy sex...
Sumus125 17
oh
RichardPencil 32
Good thing I have one foot in the grave before men became obsolete. Not only can the machine make you cum more, you can also take it with you shopping and it won't complain. They'll probably keep a few of us around for sperm production and to point and laugh at our genitals that don't work as well as vibrators.
mcsmee 8
Don't they already laugh at our genitals? What, they only laugh at mine?
RichardPencil 32
Probably. They weep when they see mine. "Oh, God, what have I done to deserve this!"
TxKitten 8
Toys are a totally different feeling, fun, good, but different. I'll still take my man over a vibrator any day. Toys are fun to incorporate with your partner as well. It can add another layer to the encounter. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
Sady_Ct 38
My husband and I always use toys together, it’s AMAZING. Sadly women don’t cum easily from ‘penis in, penis out, penis in....’
millsjoshua949 12
I'm a bit confused that you seem to be complaining that your vibrator worked so well. ydi?
JackFaire 27
I think the issue is that moment you realize that you've been settling in sex with your partners. Too many are all "let's do this okay I got mine good night" My ex-wife would get her orgasms more often than I would and I was left unsatisfied.
Susan Yee 9
****** by sex is still better than with a vibrator though, imo.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
It's not that common for women to ****** from penetration, unlike what we read in books. My vibrator does more for me than my husband, but it doesn't give me the emotional bond. So it's kind of a double-edged sword.
randybryant799 21
You're complaining about how great the toy is?