By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 319
You deserved it 4 904

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Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.


The bond between a man and his penis is very special. Even if the two of you have been together for many years, I can guarantee those two have been together much longer. Don't be jealous.

Bend down and start talking to his penis. Ignore him completely and also be nicer to his penis

farnsworth 3

I hope your ok especially since he probably beats his penis

Slick5880 is right, the bond is very strong.. Let's face it, they have been together since the start, though the good times and the 'Hard' times...

ChickInGreenVans 12

LOL!! I totally second yo on that!!

Start licking it and taking it within your mouth. He will stop, trust me.

_ebbonyy 11

you made something good sound so disgusting. I shuddered when you said 'take it within your mouth'

LunaDragon 10

Maybe not, he might start doing this. Op "hey my little superman you like that dont you, oh yeah, wait what's that she's going to rough" Op to his gf: b!tch I told you not so hard.

kayla_ann0o 9

You're an expert on how to get someone to stop talking to their penis aren't you.

i_am_the_guy 1
jerseyboy732 16

next time your giving him head give his friend a nice chomp

connerwonner 7
GoingToBeAPilot1 6

That's nice. Most extreme pains usually result in a natural punch or kicking movement.

jerseyboy732 16

55: I'm not gay so chill out I have a gf

are u sure you know alot of gay guys hide the fact that they are and date girls it's ok if you don't want to come out of the closet right now but when you do...

Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.

Airman1988 9

Yea suppose he could talking to his asshole..

challan 19

7- touché! Lmao! what a conversation that would be! Asshole, what we did last night has to be between you and me. I don't want it getting out. It was just so... Dirty... But so... Right! You opened up a whole new world of possibilities. In not just out. Shhh... No need to reply, your breath smells like shit.

leogirl95 12

Hey Dick, meet my close friend, Asshole!

leogirl95 12

Well, alright, I was just making a joke. No name calling.

Airman1988 9

Pussies don't like dicks because they get ****** by them, but ducks also **** assholes. Assholes just want to shit all over everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way but the only thing that can **** an ass is a dick with some balls. The problem with dicks is they **** too much or when its inappropriate, and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes ******* can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves, because ******* are only an inch and a half from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world but I do know this: if you don't let us **** thus asshole, were going to have our dicks and ******* covered in shit.

And to think that all these years I've been thinking of "ducks" as innocent creatures, 39.

Ducks are actually brutal serial rapists. No joke there. Look it up.

Airman1988 9

Apparently no one has seen Team America World Police

dominic1221 6

I have. It was funny in the movie, but it's not really funny when people just plagiarize jokes when they could try being original instead, ya'know?

Of course they have things in common, like right hand, or maybe left hand, when right hand is busy clicking the mouse.

At least it will always be there for him, whenever he wants, to listen and put a smile on his face

It always leaves him hanging what are you talking about?

He's just trying to raise his penis like a good man by talking to it, and teaching it lessons so then it's nice to you.

mandadarling 10

Pfft don't act like you aren't impressed. At least his dick doesn't bitch at him haha

stash01 0

Bf: What's got you down Penis? Penis: ... Bf: Want me to cheer you up? Penis: ... Bf: OK. OP, come give me a hand to cheer Penis up. OP: WTF?