By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 235
You deserved it 4 871

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Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.


The bond between a man and his penis is very special. Even if the two of you have been together for many years, I can guarantee those two have been together much longer. Don't be jealous.

Your tattoo is awesome 15.

Bend down and start talking to his penis. Ignore him completely and also be nicer to his penis

I hope your ok especially since he probably beats his penis

Slick5880 is right, the bond is very strong.. Let's face it, they have been together since the start, though the good times and the 'Hard' times...

LOL!! I totally second yo on that!!

Start licking it and taking it within your mouth. He will stop, trust me.

you made something good sound so disgusting. I shuddered when you said 'take it within your mouth'

Maybe not, he might start doing this. Op "hey my little superman you like that dont you, oh yeah, wait what's that she's going to rough" Op to his gf: b!tch I told you not so hard.

You're an expert on how to get someone to stop talking to their penis aren't you.

U r nasty uck

next time your giving him head give his friend a nice chomp

That's nice. Most extreme pains usually result in a natural punch or kicking movement.

55: I'm not gay so chill out I have a gf

are u sure you know alot of gay guys hide the fact that they are and date girls it's ok if you don't want to come out of the closet right now but when you do...

Don't take it to heart. Maybe he and dicks just have more in common.

Yea suppose he could talking to his asshole..

7- touché! Lmao! what a conversation that would be! Asshole, what we did last night has to be between you and me. I don't want it getting out. It was just so... Dirty... But so... Right! You opened up a whole new world of possibilities. In not just out. Shhh... No need to reply, your breath smells like shit.

Hey Dick, meet my close friend, Asshole!

Well, alright, I was just making a joke. No name calling.

Pussies don't like dicks because they get fucked by them, but ducks also fuck assholes. Assholes just want to shit all over everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way but the only thing that can fuck an ass is a dick with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or when its inappropriate, and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves, because pussies are only an inch and a half from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world but I do know this: if you don't let us fuck thus asshole, were going to have our dicks and pussies covered in shit.

And to think that all these years I've been thinking of "ducks" as innocent creatures, 39.

Ducks are actually brutal serial rapists. No joke there. Look it up.

Apparently no one has seen Team America World Police

I have. It was funny in the movie, but it's not really funny when people just plagiarize jokes when they could try being original instead, ya'know?

Of course they have things in common, like right hand, or maybe left hand, when right hand is busy clicking the mouse.

At least it will always be there for him, whenever he wants, to listen and put a smile on his face

It always leaves him hanging what are you talking about?

He's just trying to raise his penis like a good man by talking to it, and teaching it lessons so then it's nice to you.

start talking to it as well, i think his reaction would be funny

what a nice way

Pfft don't act like you aren't impressed. At least his dick doesn't bitch at him haha

Bf: What's got you down Penis? Penis: ... Bf: Want me to cheer you up? Penis: ... Bf: OK. OP, come give me a hand to cheer Penis up. OP: WTF?

11- I LOL'D so hard