Intimacy: Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 197

You deserved it 14 986

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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 490

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 12 850

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 280

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 825

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 263

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 368

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 061

You deserved it 4 515

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

JulzKay 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:14

... Get better batteries? The vibrator is apparently so good to you, don't cheap out!

pjunior89 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:18

epic

LesYeuxDeDario 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:21

Giggity you could have keep doin it without the vibration though ...

rukusrazor 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:27

2 seconds away? Call your boyfriend in if he can last that long.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:28

Ohmyhell, the girl knows the difference between a vibrator and a person[#21] she is saying that she couldn't ****** until this one. Smartass. And also people, it takes a while for a girl to reach her first ****** that is why so many go without one because many guys are really quick. You also probably needed better batteries. FYL, for sure!

isawit1st 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:30

DO OVER!!!! haha

camis 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:33

And THAT is why i always have two fully charged pairs of AA batteries. I too never knew ****** until I got my trusty vibrator. FYL. Try again when you have some good batteries!

desertkitt 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:36

Dude, seriously? I feel ya, my first and I couldn't get me to ****** during sex for FOREVER, we eventually figured it out though... But I had been able to give myself orgasms since I was 13... so I don't know what your issue is. Seriously, you've either been masturbating wrong your whole life or you don't know where your clit is. Either way, FYL and you should experiment with your body a little more. Get an adjustable water pressure shower head. Those work wonders.

porcupunk 0

Monday 15 June 2009 21:37

Are you guys aware that something like 30% of all women never experience an ******?? I can totally see how much this would suck... and I am a guy!! As for the batteries, I doubt she was using the vibe that long.. either she took the batteries out of something else or the batteries came with the vibe, in which case who knows how long it was on the shelf..