Intimacy and Sex: Technology hates humans

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 280

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 196

You deserved it 14 984

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 448

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 825

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 12 847

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 351

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 263

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 57 235

Alone time

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 324

Shzusuziq 16

Sunday 17 January 2021 16:06

don't you have fingers to finish the job?

dragonfly08330 10

Sunday 17 January 2021 17:11

just go into manual mode.

Comments

Shzusuziq 16

Sunday 17 January 2021 16:06

don't you have fingers to finish the job?

dragonfly08330 10

Sunday 17 January 2021 17:11

just go into manual mode.

jfigley 5

Sunday 17 January 2021 17:20

Hey, at least no one came home early and busted through the door to talk to you. Talk about a climax killer....

Vesi 29

Sunday 17 January 2021 22:06

I've had this happen. I always keep back-up spares for exactly this situation. Keep at least 2 more besides the one you actively use. =)

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 17 January 2021 23:34

Oh, yes, it's terrible when a loved one dies...

Chazzster 28

Monday 18 January 2021 2:34

When it comes to important equipment, have spare batteries and spare equipment on hand - regards of the equipment type. My wife only seems to like one particular kind of “massager” - a specific size, buzz frequency, etc. I tried others but she’s picky about this. So I keep spare batteries on hand (I use a fresh battery each time) and have repaired failed switches in older units and have brand new spares on hand. If she doesn’t “get there” then things don’t go as well for me either. Once Brookstone no longer sold the one she liked I had to find an identical model from Anazon UK and pay the shipping to the USA. Fortunately I had a spare until the imports arrived...