Intimacy: Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob....

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 638

You deserved it 21 039

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Same thing different taste

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 867

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 289

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 469

You deserved it 4 176

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 206

You deserved it 24 079

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 326

You deserved it 414

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 968

You deserved it 62 455

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 312

You deserved it 33 844

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 27 422

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 758

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 015

You deserved it 6 799

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:06

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

NitroTonicsFML 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:18

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

LaaChangaaa 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:11

How did you manage to do that '?

Mojo66930 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:16

Damn, he must be hard

JadedJarOfHearts 3

Monday 24 October 2011 6:20

Is it sad that that's happened to me before...? :/

masterpink 2

Monday 24 October 2011 6:28

How did you manage to do that

hawtchik 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:33

Damn. Big dick!

liljim61290 4

Monday 24 October 2011 6:35

I don't believe that.. Lol

GypsyRover 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:36

You are godlike! That is almost worth worship! ( sniff sniff sniff... ... ... Nope,ur shit don't stink!)

dj8798 9

Monday 24 October 2011 6:54

Can I have his #? I wanna try!! :-)

dmndbelle 1

Monday 24 October 2011 7:01

Been there. explaining yourself in the ER is fun

iBiteRoses 22

Monday 24 October 2011 7:06

Well I voted that your life "sucks" LOL

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my teen son and his friends catfished a woman in her forties so they could laugh at her when she got to the restaurant. I'm beyond furious. The poor woman was humiliated, but did my wife care? No, she only got mad at them for using her credit card to sign up to the dating app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 123

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 934

You deserved it 3 989

The Top

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?" I said, "It goes." Then he said, "At least we have a job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 142

You deserved it 3 670

Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 548

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 729

You deserved it 11 802

Today, while delivering pizza, a customer got mad at me and accused me of not having a GPS, then cussed me out and hung up. The address he gave me was a parking lot with 6 cars, none of which were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 762

You deserved it 158

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 23 292

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 81

Same thing different taste

How romantic!

Silver linings

Come again

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