Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an online blog that he updates every time we have sex. It’s ridiculously detailed, right down to the slight difference in the pink of my vagina and the slightly darker pink of my asshole. He's a dead man when he gets home from work. FML
Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
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Top comments
missyfiona89 28
Where can we read what she wrote?
jtfrisch 22
I'm sure the Internet is going to give you some good pointers
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Comments (95)
urbanbigfoot 20
Hey, you never know, she could be bragging about you. Still might wanna talk to her about it though.
danceinconverse 25
As long as she doesn't use real names or anything to trace it to you or her, it's perfectly legal.
CJMD2003 4
Fiction is fun
Creed_Aprooved 12
Start doing random shit at sex, like making chicken sounds, wearing hoods or winter coats, randomly say Rabbit during sex, make stupid faces during sex, it will exite the viewers, and if she asks you what's up, tell her its an experiment and you want to see what happens
jezka374 15
Sounds to me that she likes what you do... You should be proud OP...
DaRito 25
I guess that makes it erotic nonfiction?
42069666 18
it's not fiction then is it
Dusty_Cups 30
Where might we find this story? I need it for reasons...
L4T1M3R 5
Well as i see it, you have an obligation to support your signifigant other in all her pursuits so you better give her somethin to right about lol (tip: if not "bookworthy" in bed, shout random things out in the middle of sex to confuse her and her readers lol)
Saraishi 25
It's not really fiction if she's writing exactly what you two did during sex... Web sex-journal, maybe.
FamilyAngel 4
It's your personal problem if you are unskilled and incompetent lover. YDI.
Keiraquarium 12
...and the ex has put it onto the internet for all to see. That's kind of the whole point of the FML. OP's ex has taken something very personal and made it very public. However, erotic writing generally doesn't tend to be about bad sex so that's probably not the case here anyway.