Health: Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 60 074

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Same thing different taste

Chocolate chip

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 14:00

Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 2 882

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 18:36 - United States - Milford

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 321

You deserved it 1 995

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 211

You deserved it 30 426

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 518

You deserved it 11 301

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 775

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 3 126

By Rachel - 02/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 254

You deserved it 3 276

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 6 933

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 554

You deserved it 47 987

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 234

You deserved it 2 648

MKC_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 9:41

snatching it off the floor so your dog doesn't eat it....good. Popping it in your mouth before looking at it....not so good.

betsymonty 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 10:05

And the worst part? A dog wouldn't get sick from a single M&M.

Comments

Kickinchicken213 3

Thursday 16 April 2009 15:32

Well, at least you got your protein for the day!

spamme 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 15:35

fake²

shananigans 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 15:46

What the hell is up with all these FMLs about people eating crap off the floor WITHOUT looking at it first??

rednaxela_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 15:51

yumm

witchbaby4 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 15:53

YDI for eating off the floor in the first place.

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:14

I see 3 fails here- 1 you ATE something your dog had been sniffing and probably licking or at least getting pooch snot all over. 2 you ate off the floor. Where were you raised? IN a barn? Once something hits the floor, no matter how delicious it is, it's dead to me. 3 due to lack of attention, you ate a bug. A BUG. Moron.

spamme 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:14

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML #948871 (154) - 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm by anonymiss - misc

tilt_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:21

i can't belive all the grief being heaped on you!! lighten up people...it's a knee jerk reaction!!! YOU NEVER WASTE CHOCOLATE especially when you can apply the 3 second rule. Hey my floors are clean!! :)

stinebean 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:24

#57 said everything I was thinking when I read this. Plus, it takes a lot of cocao to kill a dog and since m&m's are mostly sugar you wouldn't need to worry about them.