By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 553
You deserved it 47 982

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Were you eating black chips? I think FML has taught me to never pick up "food" I dropped and eat it. Also, nice username.

Once upon a time I was eating pizza while watching television. Out of the corner of my eye I see one lonely piece of sausage left in the box. I pick it up and eat it, of course I don't bother to look at it. It was a stink bug. It turns out that they don't just stink, they taste BAD as well. You can't just spit out the taste of a stink bug. Oh well, live and learn.


Ew, I've done that too.. it just took me longer to realise. I had to think for a few minutes on why it tasted weird, and then I got it. ): I'm sorry, OP

how the heck do you mistake a tick with a CHIP?! And wow... your home is THAT dirty. YTDI. It's called a broom. Use one.

ISellHerbs 0

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML Old.

pwnrzero 0

now thats what i call going primal =D YDI

isitinmybedroom 11

how did u know it was a tick if u already ate it?

Were you eating black chips? I think FML has taught me to never pick up "food" I dropped and eat it. Also, nice username.

Hunnibum 0

I thought ticks were black???? Unless it was popped and bloody that it looked like a small hot cheetoh..... That sounds awesome well sucks to be u because now it will stick to ur inside and eat u inside out!!!! >;D

donttalkshit 0

isn't possible. ever heard of stomache acid? yeah. burns shit.

awickedsomething 0

You'll be OK if you eat a tock right away. Works like clockwork.

bang, bang boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn If your girl starts acting up, then you take her frien'

evangldbrg 0

I said a hip hop, Hippie to the hippie, The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it To the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now, what you hear is not a test - I'm rappin' to the beat, And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet. See, I am Wonder Mike, and I'd like to say hello, To the black, to the white, the red and the brown, The purple and yellow. But first, I gotta Bang bang, the boogie to the boogie, Say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie, Let's rock, you don't stop, Rock the rhythm that'll make your body rock. Well so far you've heard my voice but I brought two friends along, And the next on the mic is my man Hank, C'mon, Hank, sing that song! Check it out, I'm the C-A-S-A, the N-O-V-A, And the rest is F-L-Y, You see I go by the code of the doctor of the mix, And these reasons I'll tell you why. You see, I'm six foot one, and I'm tons of fun When I dress to a T, You see, I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali and I dress so viciously. I got bodyguards, I got two big cars That definitely ain't the wack, I got a Lincoln Continental and a sunfoofed Cadillac. So after school I take a dip in the pool, Which is really on the wall, I got a colour TV, so I can see The Knicks play basketball. Hear me talk about Checkbooks, credit cards, mo' money Than a sucker could ever spend, But I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum form the Rucker Not a dime 'til I made it again. Everybody go Ho-tel, Mo-tel, Whatcha gonna do today? (Say what?) 'Cos I'm a get a fly girl, Gonna get some spank n' drive off in a def OJ. Everybody go Ho-tel, Mo-tel, Holiday Inn, Say if your girl starts actin' up, then you take her friend. Master Gee! My mellow! It's on to you, so whatcha gonna do? Well, it's on'n'n'on'n'on on'n'on, The beat don't stop until the break of dawn. I said M-A-S, T-E-R, a G with a double E, I said I go by the unforgettable name Of the man they call the Master Gee. Well, my name is known all over the world By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls. I'm goin' down in history As the baddest rapper there ever could be. Now I'm feelin' the highs and you're feelin' the lows, The beat starts gettin' into your toes You start poppin' your fingers and stompin' your feet And movin' your body while while you're sitting in your seat And then damn! Ya start doin' the freak, I said Damn! Right outta your seat Then you throw your hands high in the air, Ya rockin' to the rhythm, shake your derriere Ya rockin' to the beat without a care, With the sureshot MCs for the affair. Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang But I rap to the beat just the same. I got a little face, and a pair of brown eyes All I'm here to do, ladies, is hypnotize Singin' on'n'n'on'n'on on'n'on, The beat don't stop until the break of dawn Singin' on'n'n'on'n'on on'n'on, Like a hot buttered pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie Pop da pop pop, don't you dare stop Come alive y'all, gimme whatcha got I guess by now you can take a hunch And find that I am the baby of the bunch But that's okay, I still keep in stride, 'Cos all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind Singin' on'n'n'on'n'on on'n'on, The beat don't stop until the break of dawn. Singin' on'n'n'on'n'on on'n'on, Rock rock, y'all, throw it on the floor I'm gonna freak you here, I'm gona freak you there, I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere. 'Cos I'm one of a kind and I'll shock your mind I'll put TNT in your behind. I said One, two, three, four, come on, girls, get on the floor A-come alive, y'all, a-gimme whatcha got 'Cos I'm guaranteed to make you rock I said one, two, three, four, tell me, Wonder Mike What are you waiting for? I said a hip hop, The hippie to the hippie The hip hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it To the bang bang boogie, say up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. A Skiddleebebop, we rock, scooby doo, And guess what, America, we love you 'Cos you rocked and a rolled with so much soul, You could rock 'til a hundred and one years old. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, But we like hot butter on our breakfast toast Rock it up, Baby Bubba! Baby Bubba to the boogie da bang bang da boogie To the beat, beat, it's unique Come on everybody and dance to the beat! *Drum break* A hip hop The hippie to the hippie the Hip hip a hop and you don't stop, rock it Rock it out, Baby Bubba to the boogie da bang bang The boogie to the boogie, the beat. I said, I can't wait 'til the end of the week When I'm rappin' to the rhythm of a groovy beat And I attempt to raise your body heat. Just blow your mind, so you can't speak And do a thing but a-rock and shuffle your feet And let it change up to a dance called the freak And when you finally do come into your rhythmic beat, Reast a little while so you don't get weak. I know a man named Hank He has more rhymes than a serious bank So come on Hank, sing that song, To the rhythm of the boogie, the bang bang da bong! Well, I'm Imp the Dimp, the ladies' pimp, The women fight for my delight. But I'm the grandmaster with the three MCs That shock the house for the young ladies And when you come inside, into the front, You do the freak, spank, and do the bump And when the sucker MC try to prove a point, We're a treacherous trio, we're the serious joint! a-From sun to sun and from time to time I sit down and write a brand new rhyme Because they say that miracles never cease I've created a devastating masterpiece I'm gonna rock the mic 'til you can't resist, Everybody, I say it goes like this Well, I was walking home late one afternoon A reporter stopped me for an interview She said she's heard stories and she's heard fables That I'm vicious on the mic and the turntable This young reporter I did adore, So I rocked some vicious rhymes like I never did before She said, "Damn, fly guy, I'm in love with you The Casanova legend must have been true" I said, "By the way, baby, what's your name?" Said, "I go by name of Lois Lane And you could be my boyfriend, you surely can, Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman." I said, "He's a fairy, I do suppose Flyin' through the air in pantyhose He may be very sexy, or even cute, But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit," I said, "You need a man man who's got finesse And his whole name across his chest He may be able to fly all through the night, But can he rock a party 'til the early light? He can't satisfy you with his little worm, But I can bust you out with my super sperm!" I go do it, I go do it, I go do it, do it, do it. An' I'm here an' I'm there, I'm Big Ban Hank, I'm everywhere Just throw your hands up in the air And party hardy like you just don't care Let's do it, don't stop, y'all, a tick tock, y'all, you don't stop! Go ho-tel, mo-tel, whatcha gonna do today? (Say what?) I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spank, drive off in a def OJ, Everybody go, "Ho-tel, mo-tel, Holiday Inn" You say if your girl starts actin' up, then you take her friend I say skip, dive, what can I say? I can't fit 'em all inside my OJ, So I just tak half, and bust 'em out, I give the rest to Master Gee so he can shock the house It was twelve o'clock one Friday night I was rockin' to the beat and feelin' all right Everybody was dancin' on the floor Doin' all the things they never did before And then this fly girl with a sexy lean She came into the bar, she came into the scene She travelled deeper inside the room All the fellas checked out her white Sassoons She came up to the table, looked into my eyes Then she turned around and shook her behind So I said to myself, it's time for me to release My vicious rhyme I call my masterpiece And now people in the house, this is just for you A little rap to make you boogaloo Now the group you hear is called Phase Two And let me tell you somethin', we're a helluva crew Once a week, we're on the street Just to cut in the jams and look at your feet For you to party, you gotta have the moves, So we'll get right down and get you a groove For you to dance, you got to be hot So we'll get right down and make you rock Now the system's on and the girls are there You definitely have a rockin' affair But let me tell you somethin', there's still one fact And to have a party, you got to have a rap So when the party's over, you're makin' it home, And tryin' to sleep before the break of dawn And while you're sleepin', you start to dream, And thinkin' how you danced on the disco scene My name appears in your mind, Yeah, a name you know that was right on time It was Phase Two just doin' a do Rockin' you down 'cos you knew we could To the rhythm of the beat that makes you freak, Come alive girls, get on your feet To the rhythm of the beat to the beat the beat To the double beat beat that makes you freak To the rhythm of the beat that says you go on On'n'on into the break of dawn Now I got a man comin' on right now He's garuanteed to throw down He goes by the name of Wonder Mike Come on, Wonder Mike, do what you like! I say a can of beer that's sweeter than honey, Like a millionaire that has no money Like a rainy day that is not wet, Like a gamblin' fiend that does not bet Like Dracula without his fangs, Like the boogie to the boogie without the boogie bang Like collard greens that don't taste good, Like a tree that's not made out of wood Like goin' up and not comin' down, Is just like the beat without the sound, no sound To the beat beat, you do the freak Everybody just rock and dance to the beat Have you ever went over a friends house to eat And the food just ain't no good? The macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, And the chicken tastes like wood So you try to play it off like you think you can By saying that you're full And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!" So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie And you say that you already ate And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food" So you pile some more on your plate While the stinky food's steamin', your mind starts to dreamin' Of the moment that it's time to leave And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin' Into something that looks like cheese Oh so you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place I don't care what these people think, I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous With this ugly food that stinks" So you bust out the door while it's still closed Still sick from the food you ate And then you run to the store for quick relief From a bottle of Kaopectate And then you call your friend two weeks later To see how he has been And he says, "I understand about the food, Baby Bubba, but we're still friends" With a hip hop the hippie to the hippie The hip hip a hop, a you don't stop the rockin' To the bang bang boogie Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat I say, "Hank, can ya rock? Can ya rock to the rhythm that just don't stop? Can ya hip me to the shoobie doo?" I said, "Come on, make, make the people move!" I go to the balls and then ring the bell Because I am the man with the clientele And if ya ask me why I rock so well, A Big Bang, I got clientele And from the time I was only six years old I never forgot what I was told It was the best advice I ever had It came from my wise, dear old dad He said, "Sit down, punk, I wanna talk to you And don't say a word until I'm through Now there's a time to laugh, a time to cry A time to live and a time to die A time to break and a time to chill To act civilized or act real ill But whatever you do in your lifetime You never let an MC steal your rhyme" So from six to six 'til this very day I'll always remember what he had to say So when the sucker MCs try to chump my style I let them know that I'm versatile I got style, finesse, and a little black book That's filled with rhymes and I know you wanna look But the thing that seperates you from me And that is called originality Because my rhymes are on from what you heard I didn't even bite, not a go---word And I say a little more, later on tonight So the sucker MCs can bite all night A tick a tock, y'all, a beat beat, y'all A let's rock, y'all, you don't stop Ya go, "Ho-tel, mo-tel, whatcha gonna do today?" (Say what?) Ya say, "I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spank and Drive off in a def OJ" Everybody go, "Ho-tel, mo-tel, Holiday Inn" Ya say if your girl starts actin' up, then you take her friends A like that, y'all, to the beat, y'all Beat beat y'all, ya don't stop! A Master Gee, my mellow It's on to you so whatcha gonna do? Well, like Johnny Carson on the Late Show A like Frankie Crocker in stereo Well like the Barkay's singin' "Holy Ghost" The sounds to throw down, they're played the most It's like my man Captain Sky Whose name he earned with his super sperm We rock and we don't stop Get off, y'all, I'm here to give you whatcha got To the beat that it makes you freak And come alive, girl, get on your feet A like a Perry Mason without a case Like Farrah Fawcett without her face Like the Barkays on the mic Like gettin' down right for you tonight Like movin' your body so you don't know how Right to the rhythm and throw down Like comin' alive to the Master Gee The brother who rocks so viciously I said the age of one, my life begun At the age of two I was doin' the do At the age of three, it was you and me Rockin' to the sounds of the Master Gee At the age of four, I was on the floor Givin' all the freaks what they bargained for At the age of five I didn't take no jive With the Master Gee it's all the way live At the age of six I was a-pickin' up sticks Rappin' to the beat, my stick was fixed At the age of seven, I was rockin' in heaven Don'tcha know I went off I gotta run on down to the beat you see Gettin' right on down, makin' all the girls Just take off their clothes to the beat the beat To the double beat beat that makes you freak At the age of eight, I was really great 'Cause every night, you see, I had a date At the age of nine, I was right on time 'Cause every night I had a party rhyme Going on'n'n'on'n' on on'n'on The beat don't stop until the break of dawn A sayin' on'n'n'on'n' on on'n'on Like a hot buttered de pop pop de popcorn...

HeyItsWill12 0

#2 I agree. I think it's also taught me that too many people live in disgusting places. really though how many people put stuff in their mouth without glancing at it for at least a moment. OP- YDI watch what you eat.

ChronicFAIL 0

I agree dude. This is why America has become the Land of Fatty McFat-Fats and Jiggling Jennys YDI Get off the couch and go do some exercise. Chunky Dunk.

What kind of crap-hole do you live in if you can't differentiate between crumbs of food and a tick? And how the hell does a tick look like a crumb in the first place?

The OP lives in Pakistan. Ticks are very commonplace there. Aside from that, the ticks we see aren't going to be the exact same as the ticks in Pakistan. You know, due to weather and environmental factors. So, OP, I agree FYL.

Ahhh, I see. I didn't look at the OP's location. :D

Bleh, FYL, >< I hope ticks aren't that bad-tasting.

AHAHAHA. The ad to the right. ----> Mine is some movie ad that says "Don't let zombies FYL." Win. Also, #6, yeah seriously. OP didn't even say something dropped right in that area, so I guess he assumes everything near him is food while eating. Gross.

Looks like I'm a zombie. . . *Gobbles mercy brains* Omnomnom.

why do you have ticks in your house? gross.

And now the bastard tick is eating YOUR chips, in your stomach. Oh the HORROR!