Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
CorLeonis15_fml 0
LOL, smart girl! When I was young I also tried to make my dod stop drinking. I failed miserably :'(
pilif12p 0
maybe she wants you to be a better daddy. Stop drinking for the girl sir!
ateasenfitz 0
may be he's not an alcoholic and his daughter is just responding to the brainwash technique the schools are trying to eliminate drugs and alchohol. I remember being in 6th grade and seeing pictures of lungs from smokers and then trying to get my mom to stop smoking. The schools are trying to set kids against parents.
QWERTYCommander 5
That is probably what happened. You guys should really think about what could have happened, instead of automatically assuming the OP is an alcoholic.
daddysgrl1972 0
thats fukin stupid! and not true. i am 13 years of age n now very damn well wat smoking and drinking do to u. ive learned by losing 2 dear family members to me! so stfu u stupid bitch!!
darius1527 9
exactly! what they are basically trying to teach in schools today is that one drink will mess up your life forever, one cigarette with cause lung cancer
DoomedGemini 37
They don't teach you one will **** up your life, it's getting addicted. Which cigarettes do and alcohol can. I am 17 and still trying to get my mom to quit. I don't want to lose her earlier than I have to.
caitlinmarie 0
listen to the kid. my mom is an alcoholic. it may just save your life.
ToyaBird 0
Please listen. I can't tell you how awful it was living with a father who was a functional alcoholic and how wonderful to have a Daddy who is 16 years sober. I'm gunning for you!
Blizzy_B 0
your daughter is this shit.
EffYourLyf 0
Your daughter should be the one that's saying "FML", not you.
LeChuck 0
#15 didn't say it wasn't his fault. of course it will be your fault but it will still **** up your life. I don't think a single person with an addiction DESERVES it.
_comic_ 0
She's seven. The fact she is even knows what alcohol is, is bad enough... now that she has realized the effect it has, and how it's hurting you... you aren't a parent so you can drink, get drunk, and be totally out of commission, or even hurt your daughter. The fact she wants to help you, should be MORE then enough for you to go and get some help!
stellarluna121 7
Actually, most of the time parents who are alcoholics don't listen to their children. My dad was an alcoholic and I told him to stop for years but he didn't until on day he finally understood. It's not so much as being a bad parent, it's so much as them not being able to understand and realize what their doing to their families
dcapp 0
hahahaha. she's smart!