Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
bellaxobrianna 0
okay honestly, i think its horrible that ur drinking is so bad that ur 7 year old daughter didnt just notice, but she's basically begging you to stop. and what do u do ? take another drink as if ur daughter means nothing to you. nice job, dad of the year.
squeaky_fml 0
I guess intelligence skips a generation.
dang_fml 0
omg lmfao @ #5! but seriously, if you need a seven year old to help you get your life together, you have a serious problem
jayfx 0
aw that's cute. listen to your daughter! i'm sure deep down inside you want to change..if not for yourself, do it for her.
rasiv 0
What struck me in this as the OP having a problem isn't that the daughter wants him to stop, because they teach about the problems in alcohol in school so much now-a-days that it's drilled into most kids heads. What stuck out is that there was a note on the can, which gave me the impression that the daughter knew he would drink anyway, no matter what she said. And that's what makes me think maybe the OP has a problem. Thoughts like "she'll never find out" are warning signs. Why can't you just not drink it? Or wait to drink it until after you had talked to her? I didn't write my dad notes -- I just told him I hated how he was when he drank. And when I did, he'd wait until I was asleep because he thought "i'd never find out". It turned out he had a serious problem. So yeah. You might want to think about your drinking and really decide whether or not your daughter's worries are unnecessary.
FunnyFace 0
Lot of bad parents on this site. If your 7 year old can tell you have a drinking problem...
Bunbu 8
Uh.. Your 7 year old daughter is worried about your drinking problem. And she's making adorable and sad little notes. D: Maybe you should stop.
nightmaregolem1 0
Not really an FML if your kids worried about your health
katiekatie 0
FYL, but more FYDL...very sad
CallMeClover 0
Please, listen to your daughter. Wish I'd had the guts (and the creativity) to tell my dad to stop so many years ago. He lost his driver's licence and is in rehab for the second time.