Can't stop, won't stop

By Matt8 - 07/12/2012 01:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 425
You deserved it 2 108

Same thing different taste

Top comments

theslimshadylp 6

Using a five year old as a scapegoat, that's pretty low.

Recovering alcoholics have been known to relapse several times. Be supportive. She's going to need your help to keep her back on track.


At least it's not as bad as my drunk dad showing me **** when I was 8.

I would choose that over a severe case of idiot mom.

Unless your dad is a severe alcoholic, that sounds pretty tame compared to the OP's problem. Alcoholism can ruin the life of not only the alcoholic, but of everyone around them too. A drunk dad showing his kid **** is just...kind of embarrassing.

15- I wouldn't call her an idiot. What she's displaying is the extreme desperation of addiction.

I thought that would be a great gift for an 8 year old...?

You would never know what it's like to have an a mother that has alcoholism. Shut up you worthless little boy.

I had the same thin happen to me but I was 5 and it was my mom

#23: Yeah, let's all feel sorry for drunk mom, because she puts her booze ahead of her marriage and child. Let's label her bad habits and decisions as a 'disease', so she doesn't need to accept responsibility, and can get a free ride on the sympathy express.

theslimshadylp 6

Using a five year old as a scapegoat, that's pretty low.

Victims of addiction will tell you all the worst and stupidest lies when they're caught cheating. I think OP mistake is to have alcohol in the house while she is recovering, it's like having an open pharmacy for a former drug addict. Then she may have bought the bottle herself. Either way, she needs help since she is clearly relapsing. Feels anyway like she wanted to get caught since she left such obvious evidence of her drinking and used such a lame excuse.

That's what I tried to suggest in my previous post. I wonder if she can get any lower than that ? I have known a few alcoholics and other forms of addicts, in my life. Some of them has recovered, some of them has not. Based on my experiences with that, I know that they will need support and space has to be given to them. But they're still able to think for themself. And dragging other people into your petty excuses is never right. And I can and will never forgive anyone who lowers themself to that stage. "I made a choice. I chose not to think. I ... I .... Myself ...." Never anyone else. And my patience is at 0, once they reach that level.

I think addiction is actually being covered more in the new dsm about to come out. It is a mental illness. If she is having trouble with relapsing it may be time to talk to a professional. And don't forget to take care of yourself, op. There are many support groups online and irl to help you deal with how this is effecting you. A therapist for yourself, whole sounding extreme, could also be helpful. Granted, like with any mi, she is going to have to really want to change to get better. But even if she does want to change, the road to well being is a long and bumpy one. If you decide to stay by her and give her the support, you really need to reach out to others to support yourself. Good luck to your family.

Bekeliyr 10

After relapsing just once, chances of full recovery gets slimmer. It's because they think it's moral to them. Same principles applies to criminals. They start low then get into the big business.

YeaSo3 14

She may have went and bought the bottle herself OP never said it was in the house

haha_funny_me 7

According to the post, I mean....she just drank a whole bottle of wine. She may have been a tad tipsy while saying this...

Well she's not recovering anymore. If she's already lying and trying to hide it, it's pretty bad.

No, it's time to kick her out on her own and spare the son a childhood around an alcoholic. Sorry, that addict has to be committed to staying quit. She isn't ready and likely won't be ready for many years. Meanwhile her family will be staying aboard a sinking ship and suffering needlessly for it.

NagainaFier 16

Because removing an addict from their strongest support system is DEFINITELY a grand idea. While OP shouldn't let it slide (not in the slightest- that's a serious sign if she's desperate enough to blame it on a five year old), kicking her out and cutting her off from family is not the solution.

If you truly love someone, you don't give up on them. I've grown up around an alcoholic as a teen, and honestly, you begin to realize how much it hurt you later. Under the influence, they often act as complete strangers. But OP, dot give up if you love the sober her, but have her recovered as soon as possible to make sure you and your kid don't develop emotional or psychological problems.

raraisbang 12

64, I believe you mean daughter, unless the OP's daughter ran off and had a sex change between the time this was posted and now.

72- Fair enough! Daughter! Because the gender has so much to do with the child at risk! */sarcasm I am so done with people siding with the addict! " oh they can't help it!" there is a fine line between helping the addicted spouse and supporting their addiction! Stop giving them free handouts in the form of love, shelter or security! Just stop! You aren't helping anyone! Your daughter is hurting over a parent with less responsibility than a...'oh you guessed it!' drug addict! Start fixing the affliction and not just "supporting" it. Yes, that means showing them just how cold reality is! And if they won't accept they need to change than start controlling the damage!

Well she's obviously got a problem... An even bigger one if she thinks you're such an idiot that you'll believe it.

Ya drinking a bottle of wine at the age she's got big problems Also side note did nobody else think how could a little five year old girl hid a bottle under some garbage she would have to be pretty tall

She's a recovering alcoholic .. That clearly isn't recovering. So yes, that is a problem.

Recovering alcoholics have been known to relapse several times. Be supportive. She's going to need your help to keep her back on track.

Hate the addiction, not the afflicted. But a swift slap back to reality does have its moments.

Wrong. You can love the addict and hate the affliction but until the addict is ready to change there will be no change, no matter how much you support them. Ask any person who has been with a legitimate alcoholic if they are happy they stayed around while that person ruined their life. You will find a resounding, "no, I should have left alot earlier".

KM96 24

No, I think that we do know ...

I can't stop thinking about how bad she must have it if she was desperate enough to blame the 5 year-old

I agree. Poor woman. :( Addiction is so misunderstood.

That's pretty bad but it's probably not worst thing an addicted mother has done to their child. I know OP is a stranger but I truly hope she can kick it at least for her daughters sake. Why would I hope something good for random strangers? The goodness of my heart? Maybe. But at the very least our world will get 3 stronger (hopefully clean and sober) people in the end

She needs you. Be firm yet gentle and loving. Not easy battling what she is.

A friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for over a year to my knowledge and it still seems to be the largest struggle of his life. He won't even step into a bar to play some pool with me for the fear of temptation getting the best of him. Having not dealt with this kind of problem myself it is difficult to understand nonetheless, I will alway support him and never question what he does to keep him sober. This kind of thing is never easily dealt with alone. Everyone needs support from others and without it we would all fail...