Miscellaneous: Meth heads

Meth heads

By Noname - 10/03/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methamphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 299

You deserved it 3 428

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Same thing different taste

By ahhahaha - 12/08/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 981

You deserved it 4 698

By nodad - 11/10/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 040

You deserved it 2 342

At last!

By thehumanshield - 05/08/2011 08:41 - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 214

You deserved it 2 808

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 94

Ironic

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 16:00

Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 108

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 247

You deserved it 3 407

By Joe Lizen - 07/08/2012 01:40 - United States - New Lenox

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 182

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 43 598

Raincheck

By sadnj - 23/01/2017 15:30

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my attractive and seemingly charming neighbor. Yesterday, his house was raided and he was arrested for running a heroin ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 391

You deserved it 415

The war on drugs

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 1 205

jennaleighhh 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:28

your dads retired at 58??

littlec_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:21

haha where'd you think he got your allowance money from?

Comments

GameRater01 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:16

Old people are crazy.

hellokittywhore 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 18:47

iknow the old ladies at my moms work are insane, they duke it out* fist fights to the extreme* have like 3 eyebrows drawn on and poop in their hands and finger paint with it and this one old guys wife sneaks in drugs and alchohol when she visits him!!!WTF there's more drama at this retirement home than on 90210 lagoona beach and all those other stupid drama filled shows combined!!! LMFAO 0____0

ffmmllyaya 0

Friday 20 August 2010 6:00

ydi for not taking care of your pop, for throwing him on a retirement complex and not supporting him so he have to sell meth to support himself

SadinSherman 16

Tuesday 16 November 2010 8:49

#63 You don't know the circumstances

EFFyourlifecait 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:17

my dad will probably do that to. haha.

attaboyyy11 11

Wednesday 10 June 2015 8:48

Same

littlec_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:21

haha where'd you think he got your allowance money from?

chaos753159 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:19

from Santa??

minisquid 9

Friday 26 August 2011 8:56

I ought to slap yo' ass. Santa isn't real, you stupid or something? +1 internets to anyone who gets the reference

sayyestothedress 24

Saturday 6 September 2014 2:01

#72 you just ruined my childhood memories bitch!

Kiebland 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:22

Niiice.

jennaleighhh 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:28

your dads retired at 58??

alexg823 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 2:56

exactly what I was thinking. then again, he did sell drugs.

ribx 16

Friday 5 June 2015 10:56

He could just work there...

teentee401 36

Wednesday 25 November 2015 16:07

He could've had an accident that forced him to retire early. My uncle had to retire from being a cop at 50 cause of an accident during a car chase. Then again, he didn't go to a retirement community.