Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and...

By Well, crap - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52273

You deserved it

22139

Favorite

Love

Out of it

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Great boyfriend

By maxkeyftw - United States - Clovis

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47533

You deserved it

4264

Favorite

By Nurse

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2772

You deserved it

678

Favorite

By Stupid Pregnancy Brain

Today, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering from severe pregnancy brain. I was making my husband's lunch to take to work. I realised shortly after he left that I'd used dish soap instead of BBQ sauce for his sandwich. He has to turn his phone off for work, so I have no way to warn him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10942

You deserved it

1730

Favorite

By Fmyoffice - United Kingdom

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33750

You deserved it

2744

Favorite

By DumpedHisAss - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37886

You deserved it

3732

Favorite

By got to be kidding me - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1897

You deserved it

260

Favorite

By [email protected] - 25/12/2019 20:00

Just in case

Today, a customer threatened to kick my balls in if I didn’t give her a hot chocolate. I had already explained to her that it wasn’t working. She’s a regular so anytime I see her now I cover my balls just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1696

You deserved it

161

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/7/2020 20:02

Horsing around

Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1542

You deserved it

153

Favorite

By dangit - United States

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23308

You deserved it

3570

Favorite

By LasagnaRawks - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34863

You deserved it

3106

Favorite

By Jake - United States

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28022

You deserved it

5329

Favorite

By PureFallPain

He may be disappointed

Today, I am Catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I use to vent with and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM that he liked my pic. He wants to talk on the phone. We have fallen for each other. He thinks, I am 18. I am a 39 year old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

465

You deserved it

4908

Favorite

By kitty - United States

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26383

You deserved it

3140

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66540

You deserved it

28813

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52288

You deserved it

3631

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36628

You deserved it

7971

Favorite

By Nick - United States

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27464

You deserved it

2292

Favorite

By holywowz

Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5048

You deserved it

339

Favorite

By Tise81 - Netherlands - Drachten

Today, my 18-year-old son got his first tattoo. I would have loved it, if it wasn't a text on his hand with a glaring spelling mistake in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1476

You deserved it

187

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 08:29

Thanks for all the help

Today, I found the Facebook album my sister took with her kids by the pool and out on boats while back in our hometown. My problem? I'm our dad's carer since his stroke and she had planned the trip as a mission to help me take care of him, but due to her kids being "sick", she only visited briefly. Twice. In 5 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1602

You deserved it

102

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/8/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Classic canine move

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

874

You deserved it

283

Favorite

By Betsydoll - United States

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

59504

You deserved it

26254

Favorite

Golden shower

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1598

You deserved it

353

Favorite

By wasntworththedrive - United States

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23376

You deserved it

4827

Favorite

By fartz - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48415

You deserved it

8073

Favorite

By Oh no

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2650

You deserved it

1919

Favorite

By Philip - Australia

Today, my roommate told me that when he takes a shower he likes to swipe the bar of soap in between his butt cheeks, "like a credit card." I use that soap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7694

You deserved it

1592

Favorite

By thinking of military school

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11371

You deserved it

3569

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9952

You deserved it

52256

Favorite

By Moimoi78 - Australia - Eatons Hill

What? It's just helpful advice because we know better.

Today, I introduced the concept of 'mansplaining' to my husband. Ever since, he's been deliberately mansplaining every single thing to me. All. The. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5106

You deserved it

5025

Favorite

By fuck you, bitchcake - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks

41209

You deserved it

3757

Favorite

By thedri11 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32590

You deserved it

3685

Favorite

By crappyeve - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7714

Phew, glad it wasn't me

891

Favorite

By bleh - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31265

You deserved it

6756

Favorite

By pistonchamp159 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38590

You deserved it

9901

Favorite

By festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56338

You deserved it

5695

Favorite

By fishtities - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17605

You deserved it

1717

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Donvale

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42537

You deserved it

5704

Favorite

By FauteuilEver Alone - France

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33068

You deserved it

3773

Favorite

By RoxahTheGreat - United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30319

You deserved it

4033

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By debbster7 | 18

#5541183 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

By Vidrill | 22

#5541191 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Well, maybe try to tone down the extravagant gestures towards people you don't know very well yet? I hope she appreciated the effort, though....

COMMENTS

By evilraider | 5

#5541181 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:26

You tried to sweep her off her feet

By debbster7 | 18

#5541183 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

drjohnnyboy | 15

#5541242 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:42

If he wanted to do it, then whatever happens would be on him

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5541421 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 21:24

I wouldn't have expected her to have a panic attack if I were OP, but I'd surely be embarrassed if she said no in front of everyone.

omg36 | 7

#5541896 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 4:39

There's nothing more admirable than a man whose spontaneous, romantic, and isn't scared of expressing his love. OP had a fantastic idea by doing this, he just didn't know the girl would have a panic attack.

lysx84 | 24

#5542170 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 10:00

A man should be very scared of expressing his love when he hasn't even been on a date with the girl yet. That's restraining order shit right there.

franchoi1 | 5

#5542511 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 17:07

I agree

By that_band_nerd | 22

#5541184 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Hey at least you tried! Even if you failed...

mydadpulledout | 17

#5541870 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 4:20

Yeah, but if he does that just to ask a girl out, think about what the marriage proposal will be!

By ZeroThree03 | 6

#5541186 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

That was sweet, too bad you didn't know.

By theaaxis | 27

#5541187 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Guess she's not a big fan of the "it's the thought that counts" mindset...

By Vidrill | 22

#5541191 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Well, maybe try to tone down the extravagant gestures towards people you don't know very well yet? I hope she appreciated the effort, though....

RedPillSucks | 31

#5541479 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 22:27

He didn't get the date.

By olpally | 32

#5541192 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Very cool, but over kill just for a first date, just be yourself next time.

Aryn16 | 14

#5541208 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:33

maybe that is him being himself.?

olpally | 32

#5541282 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 20:02

This stunt is usually used for marriage proposals, I've seen a lot of flash mob proposals on youtube. not just for a simple date. At least it was creative though.