Love: Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and...

By Well, crap - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52286

You deserved it

22167

Favorite

Love

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Night terrors

Narcissistic parents FTW

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35947

You deserved it

2900

Favorite

By msjustine - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38869

You deserved it

13332

Favorite

By anonymous - Canada

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36004

You deserved it

4026

Favorite

By disturbedgd - South Africa - Durban

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It contained the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5048

You deserved it

1053

Favorite

By Aly - United States - Ontario

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31557

You deserved it

48695

Favorite

By Anonymous

Explain this

Today, I came home to find my mom in my apartment packing my things and crying. When she saw me she threw her arms around me and explained through her tears that she caught my girlfriend cheating on me and that she was sorry. My girlfriend and I are in an open relationship. I had to explain that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5789

You deserved it

2463

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70168

You deserved it

2899

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39296

You deserved it

7657

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, while trying on a dress, my sister came up behind me and poked my back, asking, “What have you stuck down your dress?” I hadn’t put anything down the back of my dress; it was just my back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27551

You deserved it

10030

Favorite

By Toolmaker

Today, we got the bill from our lawyer. She'd recommended taking my common-law wife's ex-husband to court for child support, so we went to court and won. The judge awarded us over $8300! The bill came to $18,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2824

You deserved it

635

Favorite

By Michele - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43002

You deserved it

4005

Favorite

By awskme - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10628

You deserved it

28269

Favorite

By Gw - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38091

You deserved it

2868

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/4/2020 08:00

What a tool

Today, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me for the first time in years, because of the whole Covid-19 situation. Did he want to make sure I am okay? No. In fact, he didn't even ask about me. He just seemed to consider this the perfect opportunity to patronize me some more, and felt the need to tell me to "keep calm." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1514

You deserved it

214

Favorite

By O - Sweden

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33290

You deserved it

2002

Favorite

By Badaboom - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42721

You deserved it

6309

Favorite

Error!

Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1423

You deserved it

222

Favorite

By that'sokay - 12/5/2020 23:00

Deception

Today, I found out the guy I have been sleeping with didn't actually break up with his girlfriend. She just moved for a few weeks during quarantine. They are now living with each other, and I'm alone and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1677

You deserved it

456

Favorite

By David3000 - Australia

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42764

You deserved it

27806

Favorite

By bastard - United States

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43259

You deserved it

4370

Favorite

By ilikemusicokay - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12565

You deserved it

46459

Favorite

By IceWrath - United Kingdom - York

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25020

You deserved it

2403

Favorite

By SM - United States

Today, at work one of my co-worker was oddly nice to me; and my boss, who usually always says hi to me, didn't look or speak to me. Later that day I found out that I was going to be fired, not because my boss told me but because my picture was missing from the wall of employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30729

You deserved it

2030

Favorite

By Grounded - United Kingdom

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26947

You deserved it

3524

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28978

You deserved it

13878

Favorite

By Anonymous - Estonia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34614

You deserved it

3190

Favorite

By lifeguardfuckup - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44627

You deserved it

8471

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/11/2020 02:01

Does this smell bad?

Today, I spent a full two minutes doing nothing but sniffing my computer. Don't worry, it was in the living room and my roommate definitely saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

301

You deserved it

616

Favorite

By cjk004 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46669

You deserved it

6594

Favorite

By >{%£•¥ - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33933

You deserved it

4125

Favorite

By Queso Dog - Japan

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15197

You deserved it

28483

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10050

You deserved it

75408

Favorite

By fihifgni210 - United States

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13721

You deserved it

73499

Favorite

By Hairy_Potter - Brazil - S?o Paulo

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41426

You deserved it

3920

Favorite

By dregmanhart

Today, I went out for a 20-minute lunch break. When I returned to the office, I noticed that my personal computer was missing. Someone had walked into the suite on the second floor and stole my computer right off its docking station, while a few of my coworkers were still in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5504

You deserved it

573

Favorite

By Tyr88 - Australia - Blakehurst

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4474

You deserved it

1544

Favorite

By pregz - United States

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33331

You deserved it

2615

Favorite

By oshitdonotwant - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68387

You deserved it

4055

Favorite

By kb10

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16151

You deserved it

75230

Favorite

By fack - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41463

You deserved it

10133

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By debbster7 | 18

#5541183 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

By Vidrill | 22

#5541191 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Well, maybe try to tone down the extravagant gestures towards people you don't know very well yet? I hope she appreciated the effort, though....

COMMENTS

By evilraider | 5

#5541181 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:26

You tried to sweep her off her feet

By debbster7 | 18

#5541183 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

drjohnnyboy | 15

#5541242 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:42

If he wanted to do it, then whatever happens would be on him

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5541421 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 21:24

I wouldn't have expected her to have a panic attack if I were OP, but I'd surely be embarrassed if she said no in front of everyone.

omg36 | 7

#5541896 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 4:39

There's nothing more admirable than a man whose spontaneous, romantic, and isn't scared of expressing his love. OP had a fantastic idea by doing this, he just didn't know the girl would have a panic attack.

lysx84 | 24

#5542170 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 10:00

A man should be very scared of expressing his love when he hasn't even been on a date with the girl yet. That's restraining order shit right there.

franchoi1 | 5

#5542511 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 17:07

I agree

By that_band_nerd | 22

#5541184 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

Hey at least you tried! Even if you failed...

mydadpulledout | 17

#5541870 - Wednesday 19 June 2013 4:20

Yeah, but if he does that just to ask a girl out, think about what the marriage proposal will be!

By ZeroThree03 | 6

#5541186 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:27

That was sweet, too bad you didn't know.

By theaaxis | 27

#5541187 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Guess she's not a big fan of the "it's the thought that counts" mindset...

By Vidrill | 22

#5541191 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Well, maybe try to tone down the extravagant gestures towards people you don't know very well yet? I hope she appreciated the effort, though....

RedPillSucks | 31

#5541479 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 22:27

He didn't get the date.

By olpally | 32

#5541192 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:28

Very cool, but over kill just for a first date, just be yourself next time.

Aryn16 | 14

#5541208 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 19:33

maybe that is him being himself.?

olpally | 32

#5541282 - Tuesday 18 June 2013 20:02

This stunt is usually used for marriage proposals, I've seen a lot of flash mob proposals on youtube. not just for a simple date. At least it was creative though.