Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
natheitz 23
Non taken...
TheModernPatriot 14
I think at that point, I'd have to oblige him.
Zehla 7
Seems like he Is a complete asshole and you dodged a bullet OP. A simple no, sorry woyld have sufficed.
Spring13 12
u should have just kicked him in the balls just as he said that....
Misaki18 17
We don't expect life to be like twilight, with an actually large number of us never even caring about it. However we do expect people to have the common decency to be polite.
my_user_name 7
For some reason, this type of FML almost makes me more mad than some of the more horrible things you read on here. How hard is it to just BE NICE to people??
HotRose 18
Honey, this is the internet. I suggest never reading comments on popular meme/funny sites on Facebook or on websites, there will always be something to make you angry. Don't go to YouTube and read the comments either. The internet doesn't have a social code that we usually live by, people can't just be nice. And when those people, trolls, do come out into the real world we get most of our FMLs. It isn't right, but it's the internet of the present, yes I wish it would change, but then again a good internet fight is always worth it's weight in popcorn. (Just detach your personal feelings when you get online, it makes it easier.)
frod0 10
Make his dream come true OP! :') Sorry though,what a douche!
BrieeBriee 7
"Let me get the Mallet," Dickwad.
gAt_d 26
That's graphic. I'm sure a no thank you would have sufficed, what an asshole.
michelleJ11 25
You should smash his balls just for that