Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
LithFlavored 10
I've noticed a lot of fml's like this lately. Girl asks guy out, guy is complete douche about it. You think you'd kind of be able to see it coming
thewife5 19
That is kinda how my friends 12 year marriage started off.. They're two-peas in a pod now. Move on for now op;)
Jst4kicks 16
well then
bigpops 12
he did say,"no offense" ...
Spring2013Bio 3
Good thing you found out early, not wanting to go on a date with someone does not give an excuse to be a total jerk about it, he should have told you no in a better way. Now think of it this way he won't ever have a chance with you now.
bigpops 12
and bring a mallet tomorrow....
RA91 26
No worries..Im sure you're worth much more..keep your head up :)
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Don't worry. He probably doesn't even have a mallet so he's a liar
maximus_prime 24
He may be from Bangkok and it's not the done thing for a girl to ask a guy out over there.
mcm_3 16
Some taken?