By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:54 - France

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 701
You deserved it 4 942

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Fireashes250 16

What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.


Would a sledgehammer work for you a well?

Wow that was pretty offensive what a jerk, he could have just said no. Sorry OP don't stress over it if he can so easily talk to you like that he must not be much of a gentleman.

1. Now you know he's not worth liking 2. I hope he doesn't have balls anymore after you smashed them Dump him

Can't really dump someone you're not dating. Unless you mean dump them off a cliff....

Dump his balls into his shitlord of a mouth

K410 18

Too bad he's a co-worker otherwise it's easier said than done :p

I say op does it. What a complete and utter ass. If you don't want to go on a date with someone tell them in a gentle matter. The only time I see having to be a bit harsh is if it's someone who harasses you with affection.

You should've told him "do it then asshole", obviously you're mature then him; it's his loss.

caohm 18

I don't know why people still think "no offense" makes thing any better. its just a slap in the face before or after a usually horrible statement

1- was that a reference to the Princess Bride? Or am I just being that weird person? Maybe both...

princess bride was my first thought also

SwaggCapone 11

Bring a mallet to work with you

Fireashes250 16

What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.

Tell him to go ahead, smash his balls with a mallet

OscarDV 8

I thought he was pretty nice, he did say "no offense".

I'd offer to help him with that. Seriously, you should have just said "You're a heartless jerk without a soul, no offense." Walk away, and be glad to know you didn't get with...that.

38 - I hope you die a very painful death because you're an ugly ass $&@&! with no friends or family. No offense.

TheElBurrrito 21

Someone should show him the pain Olympics, then see if he still feels the same. Real or not, it does not look pleasant.

93 - I just wrote that because I hate whenever people think everything is fine as long as you say "No offense".

Not really, the fact that he said no offense means he knows what he's saying is offensive, therefor.... he's a douchebag ~_~

OscarDV 8

101 - how am I supposed to not take offense to that when you try and go for personal insults? You're dumbass needs to learn when sarcasm is being used so you can save yourself from your little typing tantrum. Take offense to that.

That's too bad, because the asshole deserves a simmilar treatment. Your obviously to good for him

I hope you smashed his balls with a mallet then!!

He's a real dick OP... Don't worry about it

You're ... too ?? Go ahead. Call me a grammar nazi. I'm glad I am.

TaniasaysFMLL 15

Wow. Why do you like him? You're better off without him anyway, its okay OP.

Nah that's actually a pretty acceptable way to decline a polite invitation

I've never understood the use of "much" as in "rude much?". Is the intent to ask the guy if he is rude often? If so, that still doesn't make much sense.

Yes that is the intent, and yes it does make since.

I don't think so, because we can probably safely assume that this guy is more inclined to be rude (so what's the point of the question?), and that guy isn't here anyway. Rude much? Yeah, he seems like a rude guy to me...

dontgivafuk 9

little kids say that nowadays.

fml1365 30

Don't worry op, you're beautiful. He's just an ass.

football98_fml 20

how do u know that? do u know her?

fml1365 30

How do you know she's not? It's called being polite.

@#62/#6 If you're saying it out of sympathy or politeness, then your compliment means nothing. You don't know OP, you can't attest to your statement. I commend you on your bravery OP. Must have taken a lot of it to ask him out! Don't let this discourage you!

fml1365 30

Every body is beautiful in their own way.

@#98 There are some really ugly people out there. Not just by physical appearance, but there are ugly thoughts, actions, and characteristics within some people. Some people are just cold hearted to the bone.

fml1365 30

I know but op was hoping for the best and I doubt she's a killer. I agree with you on cold hearted people though, and ugly actions.

@#103 My mom had always taught me "if everyone were beautiful everyone would be the same, and therefore nobody would be beautiful. Beauty exists in contrast to ugly. There is good and bad. There is beautiful and ugly. Don't judge if you don't know."

hawright 13

I like that he courteously added "No offense". What a stand up guy, you are better off op.

Yeah it's a get out of jail free card. Same as 'i'm not racist but' preceding any racist comment.

Hey, don't forget the "I have black/gay friends!" jab. That seems to be the Holy Grail of get-out-of-jail free cards.

I hate it when people always say "no offense" *rolls eyes*

TheDrifter 23

Yeah, I much prefer to simply say "Bless your heart".