Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
webbface 25
9 we don't want him to glitter, we want him to SPARKLE!
underthesea12 24
you can't be mad he said no offense.
LissaMccracken 23
That's so mean... I don't understand why some people have to be rude. Getting rejected hurts enough as it is...
LissaMccracken 23
#25... No, girls say there are no good men, because girls expect a lot and are picky as ****.
CaptainBlack 18
There are two reasons to reject a girl way harder than necessary: 1) he wanted to make absolutely sure there were no misinterpretations, or 2) he thinks that somehow by putting you down as hard as possible it implies that he could do much better and gives him an ego boost. Either one is unnecessary and I'm sorry people are such assholes.
xRezSynn 15
You had an excuse to hit his balls now
raphanne_fml 33
We found the shitlord!
SystemofaBlink41 27
Jesus... Nothing is SO bad that you'd rather want to smash your balls, take my word for it. But seriously, how does one have the level of asshole so high that you say something that offensive to someone you don't even know? Sorry OP :( The world is full of idiots.
scyther66 4
H
Dynosaur_dollie 38
how is it so many people missed that reference?