Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
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Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
lyssgross 16
Poor OP. don't take it personally - he just needs to be mean to feel good. I've never understood people like that. You're beautiful :)
Opheliae 22
"No offense." He really saved himself by tacking that onto the end.
athos1237 4
That was awesome! He wins!
SMMEric 9
He is a damn jerk
whateverwillwork 14
Hey, at least he was honest. Better than leading you on. Though, really, he's an ass.
SleeplessBeauty 12
You should have replied "I can help with that." Then kneed him in the balls real hard.
cho_bee 9
Hand him a mallet. Get out your cell phone. Stare at him and say, "Can I post this on my Facebook?"
Omniprism 15
Offense taken asshole. You're better off. He might be gay to for such a crazy response.
Sacytrl 28
I think he's hinting for you to find him a mallet to crush his manhood. Just comply with his request.
Tressa1982 18
should said..here let me help you with that **smashes balls hardcore * * * lol