Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
RawwrRawwr 3
I hate when people say No Offense. Its like saying that is going to make every hurtful thing they've said totally okay because they're not meaning to be offensive. Ugh idiots
crisanba 18
You should smash them
flashback_fml 14
That's the funniest turndown i've ever heard
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
At least he said no offense
browniey 11
What a douche, he will get what he deserves. This is why girls won't be able to speak their mind!
olpally 33
Kick him in the nuts for being a twat waffle. Your request is answered, asshole.
SparklyCuntt 12
what happened to a simple "Yes" or "No"? how is it necessary to be that rude.
worldclassrager 41
Some guys might be jerks at that but the more time you are around him in the environment he may grow to like you a bit...but this guy seems stuck...but you'll find someone.,.
KiddNYC1O 22
People can be so mean.
uktwo 8
Perhaps you're a terrible person.