Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML
Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML
Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"As you wish." Asshole.
Fireashes250 16
What a douche. He could have said it nicer. You definitely dodged a bullet there OP.
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Comments (110)
Ziggy122 15
And that is when you whip out a mallet and say, "Don't mind if I do."
mbuck87 19
Maybe he's just really into pain, and genuinely wants to do that more than your date suggestion?
outoftown 27
And today, of all days, OP left her mallet at home. :(
SariaCollins 5
Haha like the touch of "no offense"
blvcklvnd69 14
types in the nut games*
nitrog100 21
If that was his first reaction, you probably deserved it.
angiespook 18
"No offense" clearly means he meant no offense! But no seriously, you can do better than a guy as rude as him :)
bobthemarley 6
What is it with all the retarded ppl on here that 'approach someone they really like only to find out said person is a jackass'? Ydi for being dumb enough to "really like" someone u dont know from a bar of soap.
lalaney 14
Totally agree!
nchic01 17
wow, and i thought i'd had some bad rejections!
Raum 19
Wooooow, what an asshole. I can't stand it when people think adding "No offense" to something mean suddenly makes it okay. That was all kinds of unnecessary. It would have been just as easy to turn you down nicely. I guess the silver lining is be glad he said no because who wants to date such a jerk, right?