Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
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Comments (209)
happyname 2
wow, that was harsh. If my bf had small dick I wouldn't even mention something like that. it sure can kill self confidence in a man. especially if he was holding back for 34 years (omg, why???)
happyname 2
that's nasty.
KaskStunter 4
At least you are still a virgin. Keep it for someone who deserves it.
gameover18 17
awww Dude I am so sorry.
israelnotjacob 20
Well since you didn't consummate, get it annulled. She clearly doesn't deserve your virginity anyway.
hazardmuffin 21
This is why I'm AGAINST waiting til marriage for sex. I mean if that's your thing, that's great, but sexual compatibility can be a pretty important aspect of a healthy long term relationship. I hope you can talk to your wife and explain your feelings. I mean, you're married, I'd expect you two to be completely open with one another. You need to find out what her sexual needs and desires are and do your best to fulfill them. That might mean spending a bit of extra time pleasing her before/after intercourse or perhaps involving a sex toy. Sex definitely isn't everything in a relationship, but it's a big part of normal human sexuality that you really can't just ignore or settle on if you want a truly great relationship.
rockbandaddict85 22
hmmm....sounds like an open marriage/relationship kinda solution may enter into said situation very shortly lol
Axel5238 29
Good for you for waiting for sex OP, but you should've talked about stuff like this with her before marrying. If you 2 are sexually compatible it probably isn't gonna work. I'm also kinda surprised it never come up in a conversation.
Dcm210 19
That's what happens when you don't text drive it before marriage.
bgallup04 9
My husband and I waited till marriage. I would've never said something like that. I feel for yea :/