Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall....

By engaged - 29/3/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

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Love

Serious times

That'll be Kevin in accounting

Not a cheating!

By fine - 28/2/2015 05:22 - United States - Danvers

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

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By Anonymous - 4/8/2011 03:27 - United Kingdom

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

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By MedHistory - 15/9/2015 20:40 - Canada - Laval

Today, I decided to give a break to my students halfway through my 3 hour lecture. The break became the end of the lecture, because nobody came back. FML

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By deaddoggy - 2/3/2016 20:46 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML

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By qwaynick - 21/12/2010 09:25

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

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By mitchellcrawford - 31/5/2016 18:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 20:08

Cash dispenser

Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML

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By Oops - 7/1/2017 20:48 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I accidentally spilled red wine on my cat. She ran away and licked the wine off before I had a chance to clean her. My mother is deeply concerned our cat is dying. I'm trying to tell her to wait 24 hours before taking her to the vet's, simply because I think my cat is hung over. FML

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By justgreat - 24/3/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

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By WTTFFFF - 9/5/2014 17:24 - United States - Tecumseh

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/9/2014 07:32 - Australia - Rosebery

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

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By rhartnett11 - 16/2/2011 12:56

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

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By inthecold - 19/2/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

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By Schaf_12 - 16/6/2012 18:10 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

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By Anonymous - 28/2/2016 09:15 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

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By SadDaenerys - 13/7/2016 20:13

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML

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By anonymous - 14/7/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

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By homersgirl - 30/9/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

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By ilovedirt - 10/7/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

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By wiper - 4/5/2011 03:12

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

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By ScarletBuckeye - 9/7/2016 16:38

Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. So I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes. But at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML

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By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

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By queen_lol - 10/5/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

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By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

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By - 19/3/2019 08:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

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By shelby - 30/3/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

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By EveOnRoad - 5/5/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 9 years rode with his mother after boot camp graduation. She acts more like a jealous lover than a mom, so I'm currently chasing them all over Chicago in a blizzard, with her refusing to stop the car so he can see me. FML

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By Pee.H.D - 2/5/2016 17:24 - United States - Fontana

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

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By Liar Liar - 12/2/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

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By Teen With No Money - 3/8/2011 15:49 - United States

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

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By thatoneguy - 5/9/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

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By Jokkim - 20/6/2016 18:24 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

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By anonymous - 27/6/2015 17:40 - United States

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

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By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/2/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

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By anonymous - 5/9/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

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By creeped - 29/12/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

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By Noname - 14/2/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

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By Anonymous - 17/7/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

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By The nice guy finishing Last - 27/3/2017 12:00

Today, my mom talked me into going to a funeral since my dad wouldn't go. It was for one of her classmates. When it was our time to view the casket, we paused in front of it for a second before my mom leans over to me and says, "What if I told you that was really your dad?" FML

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Top comments

By T_BERG | 0

#67649 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

congrats but y a food court?

By njwrestler171 | 0

#67647 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

ahh screw them
CONGRADS

COMMENTS

By happygolucky9 | 0

#67640 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:01

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

truelyawesome | 0

#840718 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:55

those crazy clappers!!! there ruining the peace of the shopping mall! we should sterilieze them all to make sure none proceed after them! oh, and CONGRADS

namelessgiraffe | 0

#920798 - Sunday 7 March 2010 6:57

why would you propose in a food court?

ZleveL | 0

#970449 - Monday 29 March 2010 8:12

there's nothin better than proposing in front of a dairy queen and mcdonalds on a sticky floor beside a nasty table with fries scattered eveywhere on it. ahhhh how romantic :)

Youser | 0

#973381 - Saturday 3 April 2010 3:59

at a food court? seriously??????

Atmaster | 3

#983901 - Friday 23 April 2010 2:46

why the hell in a mall food court

nriney | 0

#1039723 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 23:46

it could be a specal place for them could have been where they first met or first date or first kiss it could be a romantic or sentimental place for em'

karmaSUCKS321453 | 0

#1178313 - Monday 2 August 2010 21:26

it's funny because she said yes and he is still being a whiny bitch.

mells105 | 0

#1195682 - Friday 6 August 2010 0:32

YDI for proposing in a food court who the he'll does that

lenor_fml | 7

#3151659 - Sunday 21 August 2011 10:30

Perhaps the mall cop was an ex?

drdingus | 27

#4076679 - Thursday 23 February 2012 10:56

Get a tasty snack?

bjulie1998 | 5

#4431932 - Monday 14 May 2012 4:49

I think that it's really romantic and spontanious to propose in a food court. I would never guess that I would be proposed to. Plus it might be a special place for them.

bjulie1998 | 5

#4431934 - Monday 14 May 2012 4:49

I think that it's really romantic and spontanious to propose in a food court. I would never guess that I would be proposed to. Plus it might be a special place for them.

By chiaro | 0

#67644 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

sounds like people were donig more than applauding

Trevv | 0

#877656 - Sunday 21 February 2010 4:41

No, this is just political correctness gone too far... AGAIN!!!

AninOnin | 24

#5509688 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 1:23

Why so many YDIs?

By njwrestler171 | 0

#67647 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

ahh screw them
CONGRADS

mad_masquerade | 0

#363544 - Friday 3 July 2009 10:35

There is no D in 'Congratulations'.

TheMystery_fml | 6

#2466686 - Friday 6 May 2011 6:30

And there isn't and English class present in here

By ryan__h | 1

#67648 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

that really sucks. did you try to explain?

By T_BERG | 0

#67649 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

congrats but y a food court?

Trevv | 0

#877658 - Sunday 21 February 2010 4:43

Maybe he brought her there so she wouldn't expect it...? More spontaneous maybe..?

nriney | 0

#1027185 - Friday 11 June 2010 5:44

it could be a special place like they could have first met there or had there first kiss/ maybe date it could be a very emotional place for them so bringing her back could be considered romantic

suffokate6 | 0

#2762553 - Sunday 26 June 2011 11:33

she might be fat

cuntbucket | 3

#5948363 - Saturday 17 May 2014 21:00

What the fuck dude?

By bluebabae06 | 0

#67650 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

atleast ya didnt end up in jail after all that

By keilz | 0

#67651 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

what a weird place to propose...

By imajackass | 0

#67652 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

how romantic.

bridgette5866 | 0

#853038 - Saturday 13 February 2010 23:20

exactly what I was thinking. how is this an FML? she said yes.

By iJack | 0

#67655 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

Thats awesome that you did it in public!

But that does suck for you, being escorted and all.

By liveitlearnit | 0

#67658 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:04

Was there some significance to the food court? If it was like the place where you had your first date or something, I'd get that. However, if not, it's kind of a crumby place for a proposal.

Congratulations anyway, though!

friedchkn97 | 4

#3650351 - Monday 28 November 2011 0:59

my name is David :) ly2