Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall....

By engaged - 29/3/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

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Love

The opposite of a good idea

Yappy neighborhood

The student becomes the master

By Anonymous - 6/2/2013 23:14 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/7/2019 18:00

Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML

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By Me - 20/12/2016 01:40 - United States - Canyon Lake

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

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By Jen__ - 22/3/2014 07:18 - Canada - Kitimat

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

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By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

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By Dumbweed - 28/8/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/9/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

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By bcca - 13/2/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/7/2013 19:09 - United States - Omaha

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

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By TatooFAIL - 6/10/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/4/2014 17:26 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

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By drunkdial - 6/1/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

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By Wtf - 3/11/2015 22:06

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

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By lalararara - 4/3/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

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By RIP - 8/11/2019 08:00 - United States - Lambertville

Troublemaker

Today at 10:00 pm, someone rang my doorbell 4 times, while I was sleeping. I thought it was an emergency and I opened the door to my neighbor who just want to ask if I had a blackout at noon. FML

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By sad45 - 15/3/2009 05:09 - Canada

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

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By sucks - 17/5/2009 23:40 - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

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By [email protected] - 25/12/2019 20:00

Just in case

Today, a customer threatened to kick my balls in if I didn’t give her a hot chocolate. I had already explained to her that it wasn’t working. She’s a regular so anytime I see her now I cover my balls just in case. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/6/2013 04:12 - Canada - Kingston

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

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By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

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By dak-rod423 - 15/10/2011 04:33 - United States

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

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By Bl6122 - 2/2/2017 21:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my mom received a condolence card from my high school's alumni association for my recent passing. I'm still alive! FML

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By anonymous - 10/9/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

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By SolaceInRage - 20/3/2013 23:53 - United States - Wilmette

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2010 13:44 - United States

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

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By Sean - 3/3/2012 07:33 - Canada

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

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By hantavirus - 26/8/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

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By tyrettes - 11/8/2019 20:00

Today, I started a new yard maintenance job. Before the day had even ended, I got fired, because I apparently didn’t have enough experience, and I moved too slowly. It was supposed to be my training day. FML

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By Frustrated - 25/5/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

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By stoopidpoop - 5/2/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/6/2012 05:50 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

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By Jim - 25/1/2011 08:27

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

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By cameltoeyourface - 26/7/2010 00:42 - United States

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

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By fmlgirl - 9/5/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

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By RatQuiRit - 13/10/2008 08:21

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

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By karlajjjjj - 25/10/2013 12:19 - United Kingdom - Cold Ashby

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

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By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

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By anon mom - 12/5/2016 00:06 - United States - Manassas

Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML

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By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

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Top comments

By T_BERG | 0

#67649 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

congrats but y a food court?

By njwrestler171 | 0

#67647 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

ahh screw them
CONGRADS

Comments

By happygolucky9 | 0

#67640 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:01

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

truelyawesome | 0

#840718 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:55

those crazy clappers!!! there ruining the peace of the shopping mall! we should sterilieze them all to make sure none proceed after them! oh, and CONGRADS

namelessgiraffe | 0

#920798 - Sunday 7 March 2010 6:57

why would you propose in a food court?

ZleveL | 0

#970449 - Monday 29 March 2010 8:12

there's nothin better than proposing in front of a dairy queen and mcdonalds on a sticky floor beside a nasty table with fries scattered eveywhere on it. ahhhh how romantic :)

Youser | 0

#973381 - Saturday 3 April 2010 3:59

at a food court? seriously??????

Atmaster | 3

#983901 - Friday 23 April 2010 2:46

why the hell in a mall food court

nriney | 0

#1039723 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 23:46

it could be a specal place for them could have been where they first met or first date or first kiss it could be a romantic or sentimental place for em'

karmaSUCKS321453 | 0

#1178313 - Monday 2 August 2010 21:26

it's funny because she said yes and he is still being a whiny bitch.

mells105 | 0

#1195682 - Friday 6 August 2010 0:32

YDI for proposing in a food court who the he'll does that

lenor_fml | 7

#3151659 - Sunday 21 August 2011 10:30

Perhaps the mall cop was an ex?

drdingus | 27

#4076679 - Thursday 23 February 2012 10:56

Get a tasty snack?

bjulie1998 | 5

#4431932 - Monday 14 May 2012 4:49

I think that it's really romantic and spontanious to propose in a food court. I would never guess that I would be proposed to. Plus it might be a special place for them.

bjulie1998 | 5

#4431934 - Monday 14 May 2012 4:49

I think that it's really romantic and spontanious to propose in a food court. I would never guess that I would be proposed to. Plus it might be a special place for them.

By chiaro | 0

#67644 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

sounds like people were donig more than applauding

Trevv | 0

#877656 - Sunday 21 February 2010 4:41

No, this is just political correctness gone too far... AGAIN!!!

AninOnin | 24

#5509688 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 1:23

Why so many YDIs?

By njwrestler171 | 0

#67647 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

ahh screw them
CONGRADS

mad_masquerade | 0

#363544 - Friday 3 July 2009 10:35

There is no D in 'Congratulations'.

TheMystery_fml | 6

#2466686 - Friday 6 May 2011 6:30

And there isn't and English class present in here

By ryan__h | 1

#67648 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

that really sucks. did you try to explain?

By T_BERG | 0

#67649 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

congrats but y a food court?

Trevv | 0

#877658 - Sunday 21 February 2010 4:43

Maybe he brought her there so she wouldn't expect it...? More spontaneous maybe..?

nriney | 0

#1027185 - Friday 11 June 2010 5:44

it could be a special place like they could have first met there or had there first kiss/ maybe date it could be a very emotional place for them so bringing her back could be considered romantic

suffokate6 | 0

#2762553 - Sunday 26 June 2011 11:33

she might be fat

cuntbucket | 3

#5948363 - Saturday 17 May 2014 21:00

What the fuck dude?

By bluebabae06 | 0

#67650 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:02

atleast ya didnt end up in jail after all that

By keilz | 0

#67651 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

what a weird place to propose...

By imajackass | 0

#67652 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

how romantic.

bridgette5866 | 0

#853038 - Saturday 13 February 2010 23:20

exactly what I was thinking. how is this an FML? she said yes.

By iJack | 0

#67655 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:03

Thats awesome that you did it in public!

But that does suck for you, being escorted and all.

By liveitlearnit | 0

#67658 - Sunday 29 March 2009 20:04

Was there some significance to the food court? If it was like the place where you had your first date or something, I'd get that. However, if not, it's kind of a crumby place for a proposal.

Congratulations anyway, though!

friedchkn97 | 4

#3650351 - Monday 28 November 2011 0:59

my name is David :) ly2