Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
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Comments (209)
WeskersSexslave 15
penis enlargement?
Bacontree 14
What a strange story. I can't imagine how, if you don't have sex before marriage or even see each other naked, you don't bring up this subject prior to the wedding night, or how you marry someone this inconsiderate. You may not deserve her reaction but a bit more thinking ahead could have prevented this awkward situation. I don't see the point in saving yourself until marriage anyway.
Cysioland 8
I'm sorry it's too late. FYL
Alastrina_fml 20
This is why you never buy a suit before you try it on....
misspennycakes 7
I'd be so ****** mad if I was your wife
S_W_E_D 6
OP google jelqing
horrorshowAlex 8
This FML was really sad to me for some reason. I think your wife's reaction was cruel and uncalled for.
BadLuckDude12345 14
Wow. Losing your virginity at 34? That is pretty late, even by my country Pakistan's standards. We are a pretty conservative country.
Ins0mau 20
Yeah. Sometimes I almost think they're up there with you guys on some levels. The U.S is certainly the most conservative by far of the Western nations.
Merylwen 24
Yeah, right. Because it's so much better to be a **** than wait for the person you want to share your life with. See how your wife reacts when you tell her how many ****** you ******. 34 is not late. You find the love of your life when you find them. It's not a matter of age.
Laith 12
Dont worry as long as u r efficient enough! Quality ia better than the qunatity
Solipsist 12
What an awful thing to happen, really sorry you went through that op, this would be something that would be really hard to move on from, if you would even want to at all. It's true that you can use toys, different positions etc, but I wouldn't even worry about thinking of how you can satisfy her at this time. Focus on yourself and if this relationship is something that enhances your life, it might be something you want to work through, or you might decide to leave her, both options are okay. But for now, don't stay focused on the sexuality aspect of the issue, rather what it means for trust and mutual respect. Wish you all the very best.