Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
thefirstAvenger 6
youre a wizard :0
1Laugh4tY0urP41n 3
I hear if you are a virgin till you're thirty you become a wizard... Did you become a wizard? 0_o
onorexveritas 23
ooh, that's harsh
Merylwen 24
Awww that's terrible =( I don't understand why someone who's supposed to be the love of your life would treat you like this.
pogomonkey83 5
Dude, I feel sorry for you. This is conclusive proof that it is retarded to wait until marriage to have sex. It goes against our nature. At least if you're not well endowed but have plenty of experience you have a better chance of satisfying a woman and avoiding being laughed at.
JaMeSFourTwenty 2
It's not the size of the dick, its the depth of the pussy. She must of stretched it out some.
cmb8280 24
I really want to say YDI for waiting so long... BUT I know it's a personal decision, yada yada, so first off, your wife is a BITCH. She's the one who agreed to marry you without seeing your schlong, so she has no room to laugh. Second, a small penis is not a big deal. There are LOTS of ways to satisfy a woman without using your dick. Give her some toe curling O's that way, she'll never notice the size issue again.
lachicadecafe 12
I'm so sorry to hear that! But for what it's worth, I once dated a guy with an extremely small penis, but he was wonderful in the sack. The size didn't matter: what mattered is that he knew how to use it! Practice makes perfect, so I hope your bride will stop laughing and practice with you!
metreman 19
don't worry op i got a small penis too
countrygurl123 3
Maybe the wife is loose so his little boat doesn't feel like anything to her..?