Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
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Comments (209)
Anita2013 7
Have her use a ***** and you just pound her ass if your that small Hun..... Been there done that.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
That is so crappy of her
earlw 6
Stick it in her a$$ and see how she complains about size.
Markuskacz 4
Good man, waiting until marriage, but I honestly feel sorry for you.
lowshadows 21
yeah this marriage isn't gonna last.
StarJack 9
Tell your wife you're disgusted by how her ****** is a giant gaping cave and see how she feels.
Chucklikesbacon 12
Sounds like a keeper! *sarkasm off*
ni0ve 9
wow
Crush96 7
you sure it was optional to wait that long?
mattyiscool123 26
No offense but viagra
curlstar 6
I hope you're not taking it in hopes it'll help you in the size department. Viagra is for ED and doesn't claim to enlarge anything beyond the typical growth caused by increased blood flow (yeah, a boner). OP didn't say anything to imply erectile dysfunction. Pay attention!