Intimacy: Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 108

You deserved it 11 751

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Same thing different taste

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 403

You deserved it 11 353

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 454

You deserved it 5 359

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 899

You deserved it 12 101

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 904

You deserved it 631

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 309

You deserved it 4 680

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 8 025

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 7 075

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 708

You deserved it 24 315

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 305

You deserved it 9 613

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 27 March 2013 22:14

Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.

KeXu 6

Wednesday 27 March 2013 22:14

Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me

Comments

luckygamer85 7

Saturday 30 March 2013 16:55

it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean...but it takes forever to get to england in a rowboat! lol

NeinKittenz 20

Saturday 30 March 2013 21:01

Hey, you were closer to having sex than 25% of us have ever been.

JLJ911 8

Saturday 30 March 2013 22:37

Maybe you should of took some extenze

hardeepamritsar 3

Monday 1 April 2013 3:47

Almost?? Hope you managed to do someting this time :D

innominestanas 6

Monday 1 April 2013 18:47

Shoulda been practicing in college wimp. I pity you "Im waiting for marriage" type *******. XD

squishlet 2

Tuesday 2 April 2013 7:45

Did you never do ANYTHING sexual before marriage or something? Not even got changed in front of each other or showered together?

CanadianCutie22 16

Friday 5 April 2013 4:45

what does it matter anyway? as long as the job gets done, right ?

bmanholmes 3

Sunday 14 April 2013 15:40

That's why most of us didn't wait It's like a balloon the more you inflate it the bigger it'll be over time

patrick29 1

Thursday 18 April 2013 23:59

Don't feel bad op be proud of what you got

UnluckyDude96 8

Tuesday 23 April 2013 4:53

Its not the size of the tool, but how you use it bro ;)

Keywords

Video games Love Gamers Health Gross Weird Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 172

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 178

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 30 659

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 021

You deserved it 62 936

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 2 709

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 681

You deserved it 44 212

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 172