Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
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Comments (209)
luckygamer85 7
it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean...but it takes forever to get to england in a rowboat! lol
NeinKittenz 20
Hey, you were closer to having sex than 25% of us have ever been.
JLJ911 8
Maybe you should of took some extenze
hardeepamritsar 3
Almost?? Hope you managed to do someting this time :D
innominestanas 6
Shoulda been practicing in college wimp. I pity you "Im waiting for marriage" type *******. XD
squishlet 2
Did you never do ANYTHING sexual before marriage or something? Not even got changed in front of each other or showered together?
CanadianCutie22 16
what does it matter anyway? as long as the job gets done, right ?
bmanholmes 3
That's why most of us didn't wait It's like a balloon the more you inflate it the bigger it'll be over time
patrick29 1
Don't feel bad op be proud of what you got
UnluckyDude96 8
Its not the size of the tool, but how you use it bro ;)