Work: Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks...

By viperplay53 - 12/08/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 316

You deserved it 2 581

Work

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Check that expiration date man, it's later than you think

Spook Magook

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 463

You deserved it 1 427

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 737

You deserved it 1 319

By sophie - 13/04/2011 16:36 - United States

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 712

You deserved it 5 747

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 11:01

Today, in a seminar held by my country's government and the UN, I suddenly realized how stupid the reason for my recent breakup was. So, I ran out of the hall under the stares of over a hundred people and started bawling my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 2 715

By marriedtoatool - 26/12/2012 06:15 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 587

You deserved it 2 919

By spaz - 14/03/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 853

You deserved it 13 674

Spooked

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 08:01

Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 59

By Lysh - 24/11/2016 05:38

Today, my fiancé broke it off with me on our 3-year anniversary at 12:01 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning. Guess who gets to go to family gatherings where everyone will be asking where he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 834

You deserved it 863

By Badnewca - 14/05/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 059

You deserved it 5 190

Blender time!

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 17:04

Today, I've told my boyfriend several times that my toothless grandma can only eat pureed foods, but likes any kind of soup, "as long as there's no meat in it." Guess what was his idea of a gift for her when meeting her for the first time? A steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 160

By legit - 02/03/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 171

You deserved it 46 834

By fmlmao - 28/01/2017 12:00

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 560

By Carmen - 26/02/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 31 832

Cool trick, mom

By fuck florida - 16/05/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 283

You deserved it 5 961

By 9inchsofty - 20/09/2018 14:00

Today, I took my truck through an automatic car wash. During the wash, the bristles on one of the automatic scrubbers ripped my metal antenna off of my car. The antenna was stuck spinning around in the scrubber, smacking and scratching the entire side of my car, top to bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 931

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 618

You deserved it 8 682

By UglyFace - 30/11/2013 22:46 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 171

You deserved it 2 635

By me - 04/02/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 178

You deserved it 5 961

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 088

You deserved it 72 569

By PharmSlave - 01/05/2015 06:12 - United States - Marysville

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 2 579

By buster - 13/02/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 8 170

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 640

You deserved it 28 309

By Fresca11 - 29/06/2011 00:51 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 421

You deserved it 14 013

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 20:00

Today, my mom told me my aunt was coming over. I told her I might have to work, and would be sad to miss her. My mom said, "Or, you know, if you're not there, it might be nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 235

Help!

By send help - 07/03/2017 02:00

Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 348

You deserved it 390

By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 821

You deserved it 6 134

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 01:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 253

Skipped town

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to my girlfriend's apartment, but it was empty. I went to her parents' house, it was empty as well. She isn’t responding to my messages, so I guess I got ghosted in real life and online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 25/12/2013 23:19 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 583

You deserved it 4 251

By Idontbelieveinmagic - 17/06/2013 05:42 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 417

You deserved it 5 406

By megean c.l. - 20/01/2013 21:36 - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 7 995

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 4 643

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 21:54 - United States

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 403

You deserved it 3 466

By fucktelstra - 17/03/2016 11:42 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 498

You deserved it 1 391

By "sadh3" - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 403

You deserved it 718

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 164 842

You deserved it 8 273

By I'm out - 06/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 447

You deserved it 1 316

By Urgghh - 16/05/2013 21:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 407

You deserved it 6 410

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 22:31 - United States - Malden

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 113

You deserved it 1 347

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Top comments

unfortunate_13 5

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:05

that's assault, i hope you wrote down their license plate.

whyme203 15

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:01

Dude that sucks. I work in fast food too and know how horrible people can be.

sara_saturday 5

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:00

worker's comp?

Ryanmatuszak 5

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:08

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Iamnotmyself 17

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:12

-7 "ha"

KiddNYC1O 20

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Friday 12 August 2011 15:11

How is one "ha" better than fifty?

blitz426 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 15:19

what flavor coffee?

Saltime 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 15:59

52, less is more when you use Charmin.

ncolby7 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 17:12

I'm missunderstanding the part that makes them dicks...

Iamnotmyself 17

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Friday 12 August 2011 18:09

-7 I like the part he said "ha"

Tektite 14

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Saturday 13 August 2011 9:39

Serves you right for working at McDonalds..

omgcookeys 15

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Saturday 13 August 2011 9:56

Why do drive through people get abused so often?! Everyone that pulls those stunts, are dicks.

sparklecherry 4

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Tuesday 16 August 2011 4:25

You're a douchebag 132.

piedpiper303 29

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Friday 9 August 2013 22:56

132, you obviously like McDonald's seeing how you say you live there. Oh, and those shorts don't make your ass look nice. They make you look even fatter than you already are. Pull them up fatty, no one wants to see your crack.

teentee401 36

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Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:20

156: I don't think that's the commenter in the picture...

whyme203 15

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:01

Dude that sucks. I work in fast food too and know how horrible people can be.

imustbeinsane 2

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:27

Seriously, I mean some people should be euthanized. Poor op was just doing his/her job, contributing to society

genesisnirvana 11

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:30

They're dipshits.I mean come on who throws hot coffee at someone? They could get injured.

sxe_beast 11

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Friday 12 August 2011 13:07

lol @ fast food people "contributing to society"

gunmania0 12

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Friday 12 August 2011 13:28

24- pro comment.

andres19 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 13:40

Working at a fast food restaurant has caused me to lose faith in humanity

enonymous 8

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Friday 12 August 2011 16:01

If they were in a moving vehicle while Doing this I'm pretty impressed the shot went in that little sliding door. If i was going to do this... My fire in the hole would be a few books on how to speak clearly into a microphone

IndiRae 9

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Friday 12 August 2011 22:26

24- If McDonalds, or any fast food chain, were to shut down, a lot of people would become upset and hungry. So I don't really see how they aren't contributing. Lol @ ignorant fuckwads.

fadingfaith 4

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Friday 12 August 2011 23:31

# 106 they're other healthier options than fast food restaurants. No wondering America is the fattest country.

princessjasmine2_fml 0

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Saturday 13 August 2011 1:31

109- As of 2011 The USA isn't the fattest nation. I think they actually rank #3.

tobabo101 0

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Saturday 13 August 2011 4:16

hahahaha yeaahh that title would have to go to Australia .... LOL

rainbowhobos 4

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Saturday 13 August 2011 7:14

Dear Assholes, Gtfo with your douchebaggotry. Stick to coning. It's harmless and completely painless and might actually plaster a couple smiles on people's faces instead of third degree burns and lost faith in humanity. -.- Sincerely, Future Life-long McDonald's Employee

sparklecherry 4

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Tuesday 16 August 2011 4:23

Better than sitting at home collecting welfare, moron.

Dilwann 27

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Friday 18 January 2013 1:22

I work in Belgian fast-food as well. Did the drive through a few times as well. But I never got assaulted in any way... maybe because people have to be 18 to drive. Maybe because we have less morons. I don't know. I'm just glad the worst 'people' I have to deal with are the ones that speak dutch badly.

slitherbomb 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:02

Wtf is a fire in the hole? Sorry if I don't get your lingo, you fucking hooligan.

unfortunate_13 5

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:05

that's assault, i hope you wrote down their license plate.

reallytho3 11

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Friday 12 August 2011 13:10

They have camreras

victimization 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 20:59

Cameras?

Marcella1016 31

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Friday 12 August 2011 23:17

Camaros?

oreobunbun 3

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Saturday 13 August 2011 2:18

Camels?

rallets 22

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Saturday 13 August 2011 2:32

comrade?

reallytho3 11

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Saturday 13 August 2011 3:53

Lol stupid typing

itzNaynay 0

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Sunday 14 August 2011 18:31

Cannibals ?

elite_stoner 0

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Monday 15 August 2011 7:54

cannabis

coolstorybro6969 6

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Saturday 5 November 2011 3:39

CORNPOPS!

moneybagz131 6

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Saturday 18 February 2012 20:30

Kameamea wave?

BabbiiLovvee 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:06

I don't get it... ?

genesisnirvana 11

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:19

The customers throw things into the window.OP got hit coffee thrown at them.

genesisnirvana 11

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Friday 12 August 2011 12:28

Shit.Wrong comment.

EvilPotato 14

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Friday 12 August 2011 14:59

rofl.

NomOnShroomz 14

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Friday 12 August 2011 16:25

Babbii, FML is not a place for 8 year olds so can you please do us all a favor and either delete your account or stop saying you don't understand? Thanks.

hazardoussmiles9 22

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Friday 12 August 2011 16:46

I didn't understand either, and I am definitely not 8 years old. Ever considered that 'Babbii' might be foreign? I swear, FML is so full of ignoramuses, it's not even normal anymore.

karagarren 8

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Friday 12 August 2011 16:55

bitch much 68? I'm 20 and don't know what that meant. but I googled it.:D

celticsfan69 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 17:27

I didn't know what it was either and I like what 71 says u bitch

aFatFuck 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 19:39

Fire in the hole = Go through a drive thru and order a drink. When they give you the drink you throw it back through the window they handed it to you from - at them and yell "fire in the hole" a lot of YouTube videos on it if you want to see.