Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.
KeXu 6
Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
peachykeenLNG 13
Hey, at least she laughed. She knows she's stuck with you... most girls would cry.
iEmma 7
She clearly doesn't deserve the D, keep saving yourself for a woman who is mature and in love with you on a deeper level!
gioo_fml 6
They got stuff for that....
SILVERSTAR_6 17
Man, so sorry for u OP, but I'd be depressed to be a 34 y/o virgin...
knoxxx 22
She was probably just trying to prevent herself from crying because that's the penis she's now married to.
chuckcloninger 12
Annulment.
Pstraka6 20
That is not very wife-like of her. Tell her you don't appreciate it and how it was brought up. not to mention its not always about size! get a beer, shrug it off and keep smiling :)
taurusxdee 10
God bless you! Takes a true man of God to wait until marriage to have sex. You did the right thing.
LdyJstc 8
Sorry, OP! Too bad you didn't find someone who waited until the wedding night as well. If she hadn't seen others, she wouldn't laugh at yours, which is cruel and insensitive anyway. Good luck with the marriage...
rokolodo 10
That just means she's used to bigger things. Wait, that means she wasn't a virgin? Not that that is important.