Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
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Top comments
boomlol 0
he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"
Rhodacious1 0
EW...
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Comments (183)
um_duh 0
YDI for being a jock asshole and not spending enough time in English class. Learn to spell noob
cbadbeachbabe 0
what did he spell wrong??
TheLetterZero 7
Apparently, um_duh says that the OP can't spell "noob". That, or um_duh can't use punctuation correctly.
missmollylynn 0
um_duh, you're a ******* idiot. he didn't misspell anything. before you go and try to insult someone, make sure they actually did something wrong, you ignorant ****.
andyroxs 2
The OP is a girl. Plus, playing field hockey doesnt mean youre a jock.
jazinatorr 0
ewww that's so gross. did the reflections not notice?
jonny2x4 0
Why wouldn't they let you rinse it off with a water bottle?
allmidnighteyes 11
Put that shit back in yer mouth and pretend like they be sum pimpin' grillz, foo'.
doggie3 0
That happened to me at my field hocky game but with dog poo. Did he let you clean it off, though? Cuz my ref did.
OneSadGuy 3
You know referees these days. All these strange fetishes. Clearly he had a think for shit stained teeth. May I recommend Colgate?
allmidnighteyes 11
*cue British accent* Dirty mouth? Clean it upp with Orrbit!
KristinSpencer 0
#37 You just made my night.
ThaMC 0
ydi for playing field hockey. But that does suck
kaelendra 0
rules are there for a reason... you had a hard choice either put it back in or don't play.
moopsy234 0
mannnnn that's y I always carry hot scauce in my cup!!! for that reaon exactly!!!! WHHHHHOOOHOOO AND reply "I'm sexy" to this!!!!
kaelendra 0
I love how all these peeps are acting like the refs evil - which um no. it's a legality thing to wear one and the red wouldve let a player wipe it first with their tunic or rinse with their water bottle.