Sports and Injury: The name of that old man?

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 2

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 56

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 028

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 071

You deserved it 5 560

Sports Injury

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Leave us alone

People are people

28/11/2015 03:21

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 265

You deserved it 2 566

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 205

22/02/2013 00:16

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 092

You deserved it 50 130

11/02/2013 01:51

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 156

You deserved it 5 908

15/04/2009 16:17

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 393

You deserved it 53 497

28/05/2015 01:28

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 295

You deserved it 7 245

05/02/2010 00:47

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 222

You deserved it 3 037

13/09/2009 06:17

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 267

You deserved it 14 100

26/04/2009 23:44

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 746

You deserved it 3 104

Math ain't easy

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 15:59

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 59

Support

By CallmeTokey - 12/07/2016 03:21

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 626

You deserved it 15 232

04/10/2009 09:42

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 453

You deserved it 3 989

30/03/2016 05:24

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 963

You deserved it 2 311

27/06/2013 01:57

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 387

You deserved it 35 664

Ace in the hole

By anna - 15/05/2021 07:58

Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 134

21/11/2014 20:07

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 4 770

15/02/2017 21:00

Today, whilst working my waitressing job, I had a patron lose his rag at me because there was too much "green stuff" in his salad. What did he expect? Chicken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 192

You deserved it 419

21/09/2013 17:28

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 550

You deserved it 3 943

08/06/2010 02:21

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 913

You deserved it 5 953

31/05/2016 18:05

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 050

You deserved it 10 036

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 10:13

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 501

You deserved it 736

Unexpected item

By Highschoolsucks - 18/03/2020 23:00

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 124

04/04/2013 06:46

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 799

You deserved it 4 918

It's not

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 16:02

Today, it's my birthday, none of my friends wished me a thing. I spent the whole day crying and then decided to call few of them and sobbingly demanded an explanation. Most of them didn't pick up, the rest called me a drama queen, saying that my birthday isn't as important as I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 1 310

08/06/2012 16:36

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 436

You deserved it 5 644

Indeed they do

By Sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 08:00

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 211

20/04/2016 20:03

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 755

You deserved it 2 512

26/01/2013 08:42

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 117

You deserved it 5 625

29/07/2015 14:41

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 599

You deserved it 10 722

13/09/2010 00:08

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 778

You deserved it 3 035

14/10/2011 22:40

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 946

You deserved it 3 017

26/05/2012 20:41

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 364

You deserved it 1 740

13/12/2012 11:04

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 192

You deserved it 32 224

27/12/2009 06:58

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 070

You deserved it 4 218

12/12/2014 15:17

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 4 901

15/01/2016 17:47

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 692

You deserved it 16 098

14/04/2009 20:40

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 240

You deserved it 54 572

02/09/2011 22:20

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 488

You deserved it 4 588

07/11/2008 14:18

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 281

You deserved it 4 555

15/09/2012 16:11

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 875

You deserved it 3 816

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Top comments

cjk04 12

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Thursday 13 April 2017 23:24

What an asshole

Patsy Boren 19

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Sunday 27 January 2019 5:01

That's so messed up! sorry that happened to you

Comments

cjk04 12

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Thursday 13 April 2017 23:24

What an asshole

Patsy Boren 19

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Sunday 27 January 2019 5:01

That's so messed up! sorry that happened to you