Work: Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard... - FML

By ewewew - 24/09/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 434

You deserved it 4 800

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 368

You deserved it 13 529

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 179

You deserved it 5 579

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 863

You deserved it 8 898

By yuck - 09/12/2018 03:30 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 621

You deserved it 237

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 2 138

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 741

You deserved it 20 154

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 4 101

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 125

By haileyjunkin - 22/11/2011 17:53

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 632

You deserved it 3 304

Riot!

By gmnesbitt - 07/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 2 565

Next

Top comments

boomlol 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:39

he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"

Rhodacious1 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:37

EW...

Comments

LaffingLadybugge 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:19

oooh, that sucks... did you at least get to wipe it off?

gorgeousxbaby 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:20

ewww . im sorry ): yuuckkk :P

fi3ldhock3ybab33 8

Friday 25 September 2009 3:20

Field hockey championships don't start till mid to end October I would know I'm in college and I play and I've played since 6th grade. Anyway some refs are major asses I woulda refused that's disgusting!

gilly011 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:21

#46 FAIL!! he said field hockey! douche. =D btw, FYL, that fkn sucks. did you at least win?

Brooklynxman 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:23

And you put it back in? Coach should be your personal bitch for that. Cause taking one for the team just went to an all new level here.

embarrassedsis 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:31

did he at least let you wash it off???? eeeeewwww thats so gross!!! i say sue his ass when you come down with bird flu

thatonekid2010 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:31

Geese crap ftw NOM NOM NOM

madishunwhut7 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:37

did it taste good?

prettykitty123 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:50

THIS WAS ON TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT(.com)!

_Star_Shazar_ 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:51

I think I barfed a little when I read this): I can just imagine having to do that -.- *gag*

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Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 609

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 013

The Top

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 632

You deserved it 37 606

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 100

You deserved it 12 064

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 766

You deserved it 1 610

Today, I finally sought help for my alcoholism. They told me they wouldn't help me until I'd stopped drinking. Um... what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 267

You deserved it 393

We are pleased to introduce the latest addition to the FML video library: SHITFLIX! Listen carefully to the actors in this mashup of clips to figure out what movie they're describing. If you manage to guess right before the end, comment below!

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 162

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 427

You deserved it 3 720