Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
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Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
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Top comments
boomlol 0
he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"
Rhodacious1 0
EW...
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Comments (183)
DirtyDiana_fml 0
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit.
GJMO 0
being part of team sure leaves a bad taste in my mouth, how about yours?
myballs 0
How did it taste?
JBoyes09 0
Screw that. Should have told him to get bent.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Today, my girlfriend's kiss tasted like shit. She gave me this story about how the field-hockey ref made her put a goose shit covered mouth guard on during her championship game. She doesn't play field hockey. She's really kinky. I think she gave a goose a rim-job. FML
Witchcraft_fml 5
...
dannyco 0
lol! wth?
jloveee 0
Lol so the ref kinda made you eat shit.. *Fyl.
kurt311 0
Clearly fake, why would poop be in the middle of the field? Next time try to reason out dumbass
Moonpaper 0
@124 My school's fields are covered in goose poop. It's not that uncommon. I'm sorry, OP. That must have been really nasty. D:
Edumacated 0
Seriously, as others have stated, no one was forcing you to put it back in your mouth. And the referee can say what he wants, but there can be big health risks associated with such contact with animal waste.
chtaimetoupie 0
hahaha ILY :D
andyroxs 2
Having a mouthguard drop into geese crap is pretty bad, but you cant ignore the possiblility that the geese crap was old and dried. In which case the mouthguard wouldnt even have any sh!t on it. Obviously still nasty, but if it were between using it and not playing the championship game, id use it.